I am so inspired by you and Ethaney’s friendship - it’s so joyful to see snippets of it online! Do you have any advice for staying close and connected with friends as adulthood and distance start to make hanging out all the time difficult? I wish I could buy a row of houses all on the same street and put my friends in them 🥲
hi ellie! it was very lucky that ethaney and i lived close enough that we could have the spontaneous hang outs that deepen a friendship. making friends as an adult is so hard. all the thinkpieces about how our generation has no third spaces or community. during the pandemic i tried some friendship apps like bumble bff and i did meet one lovely person through it. i've seen some creators online start snail mail clubs where they pair people to be friends through writing letters..idk its interesting seeing how much the internet has shaped the way we connect and think about friendship.
for staying connecting, sometimes there is a lot of power in a random "hi just thinking of u." text. even if it seems out of the blue.
Attending a wedding in Mendocino County this summer and the dress code is “California Cocktail.” I have no context for this as an East Coast resident—the FAQ says cocktail or semiformal, but I’d love to know how you interpret that dress code!
hi Sara! I would say the image that comes to mind is a dressy dress that looks like reformation or doen…I’m rly not a fan of Ref’s materials and price point but yeah they really are the company behind the California wedding guest dress industrial complex. I totally understand wanting to dress respectfully for the dress code. I think you cannot go wrong with a long midi or maxi dress in a silky material, or even separates like a dressy crop top and high waisted pants.
Thank you! I have a silk maxi dress I was hoping to wear but wasn’t sure if that was too formal, so that is very reassuring. Now to brainstorm a jacket for when it gets chilly in the evening (it is outdoors).
How was the process of changing careers from public health to writing/freelancing, and what helped you thru the tough unknowing parts? I just ended a job and am currently re-evaluating what kind of work I want to seek out and it’s been very existential crisis inducing hahaha. love your substack 💖
i knew i wanted to make a big career switch at some point so i did save up money in anticipation of making less money for a while/indefinitely. so far freelancing does not come close to my old public health salary but it's a process and tradeoff and i'm trying to believe in the long term. ending a job can be so scary. i think...just stay open to possibilities. it is ok to be terrified of rejection, but everything worthwhile is worth the risk. it is a good time to explore who you are, what kind of "work" you feel is right for you regardless of societal or internal expectations.
Any tips for building a non-neutral capsule wardrobe? I love the idea of one, but all blogs take a very plain approach. I love colour and pattern, and still want to dress with character!
How do you get yourself out of a mental funk? Whether it be waking up on the wrong side of your bed or some external or internal event causing turmoil, what do you tell yourself or force yourself to do to eradicate that feeling?
Hi Halle! mental funks are so weird so i get how hard it is to deal w. recently i was in a bit of a funk bc i was submitting a lot of pitches that were getting rejected by editors. i knew it wasn't personal and rejections are a super normal part of writing but im sensitive. i think the biggest comforts for me are food and rest...ordering something i really love eating like pho or a hamburger. and then taking a shower and just lounging in bed w my thoughts. i feel like that i have friends and family to turn if i want to talk it out. funks are hard tho. i think we all have different way of self soothing
Hi Talía! I started my newsletter because I wanted to write fashion/style/culture content that I felt was missing from the online space...topics that I would want to read about. I loved reading fashion blogs when I was younger but never felt brave enough to "write publicly" until 2021ish
Hi Viv! Any suggestions for warm weather closed-toe shoes? I’m thinking of onitsuka tiger sneakers and one other pair of sandals or flats that I can dress up/ down!
hi viv! do you have advice on how to explore fashion as a hobby? your substack is the only one i’m following rn and would love pointers to other writers and creators!
hi lyra! fashion as a hobby can mean so many things: not just shopping and buying clothing but styling, curating, writing, photography, illustration etc! it took some time to find the modes that spoke to me and my interests. i know on substack you can probably look up other writers im following on my profile page, i would start there. but tbh i follow a lot of creatives who aren't in fashion! tbh that can be the best source of inspo sometimes. i find that when i think too much about who else in the same "cultural space" as me i can get in my own head about whether my ideas are fresh...if my POV is valuable, etc.
Curious what your laundry routine is like? Do you separate lights and darks? I struggle with clothes losing vibrancy and their original shape/texture but I don’t know if I have the energy to be so meticulous about care instructions.
i read this and was like hmmm what DO i even do for laundry???
growing up my mom's way of laundry was "insides" and "outsides" so loosely organized by how germ-y they were
insides are undies and t shirts and little things that touch the skin and are delicate
outsides are pants jackets socks things that get grimier or touch public seats
i still generally use this method
i don't really separate lights and darks tbh
for knits i do try to be more careful about them bc they're delicate...i'll do a cold water gentle wash and let them air dry. if i didn't struggle with hand eczema i'd hand wash delicates more.
-i do get pimples quite often under my bangs, they're just hidden by the hair! i used to get pretty bad fungal acne along my hairline from sweaty bangs
-many years ago my partner went to this local esthetician studio and that's how i ended up working with them to get acne extractions. the first appt you have to bring your makeup bag...at the time i was korean-skincare-pilled and the esthie was like damn this stuff is clogging you up girl...i was skeptical at first in general about skincare studios but i used all her recommended products and it worked rly well for me. so ive been using their skincare for 7 years and its kinda nice that i never feel the need to branch out into "IG skincare brands" cause i know these work for me: https://seventhirty.co/
-i also did get a theraface last yr and have been inconsistently microcurrenting. idk if its really THAT big of a help long term but i do think that if i use it 3 days in a row there is a little more of a bouncy boiled egg look?
ok this is so helpful thank you!! i used to get extractions once in awhile when my mom was willing to shell out for it, but haven't actually put the money into getting a dedicated "treatment facial" with extractions myself since i started living (and paying) on my own (lol). but maybe i should! also the bouncy boiled egg look is exactly what i love––i have a lot of texture and scarring from being a former hormonal cystic acne sufferer so i don't really feel like that look is super achievable for me, but i'd try anything that might get me closer to it.
yeah sometimes its like...wow is the secret just....money??? and genetics?
cause my skin was "best" when i was paying for professional extractions. my experience is that facials are nice and relaxing but don't really get the "results" i want, whereas extractions hurt like hell but i'm willing to do it maybe 3-4 times a year if i feel really clogged up and frustrated.
money really does help lol...i definitely feel like getting extractions was needed for me, especially at that time when my skin was really suffering––i still think i could use them but struggle to figure out where to get them as i've only ever had them done as a part of a facial service (usually taking up about half the service). but maybe i need to hunt!
for sure, i think finding a reputable place is 50% of the battle. also with acne breakouts i know that skincare/extraction is the only remedy that i'm really willing to try, as opposed to cutting out certain foods. so much conventional "skincare advice" sounds like an ED
god SOOOOO true. i am not going to just stop eating great food for my entire life because i have a breakout sometimes, and i don't believe in hyperanalyzing every thing i put in my mouth in pursuit of perfect skin, a "perfect" body, any of it.
Hi b! I was working full time in public health while writing my newsletter, and since going fully freelance I rely on a mix of newsletter subscriptions, brand/social media projects, and copywriting.
Hi Viv. Feel better!! I'm very curious about your creative process! How do you come up with content ideas for your newsletter, and how do you determine which topics you want/don't want to post about?
I love reading along on the Molehill so thank you for writing such a great newsletter!!
hi emma! my process is all over the place...but i would say that since i started taking writing more seriously it can feel like my brain does not shut off re: thinking of ideas
i may be watching a tv show or eating a meal and then a random idea or question will come up, or just an observation. i'll write it down in my substack drafts, which is like a long notes app of random ideas or a photo or something i wanted to mentally bookmark.
if a subject feels timely, i will be more inclined to write about that. if i feel stuck sometimes i just scroll through all my old drafts and see if anything jumps out to me as more interesting or something to be revived. for example, that man repeller piece. it started out as a blank corn kernel of an idea a few months ago in 2023! and just took a long time for me to even feel like i had anything worthwhile to say about it.
and then sometimes it's just like very product driven bc i have been very excited about a pair of jeans, and i will just write about why i love them. those are "easier" than the longer reflection pieces, from a creative process perspective
hi aya! to be honest idk if i have really been taking fashion risks. maybe i need to take more...if anything i think im trying to let go of the pressure to be dressed up all the time or when i need to do so for a photo project. it can feel thrilling sometimes to wear the most ugly unfashionable drab clothes to the post office and feel like no one would notice me bc i am incognito
hi CJ! i struggle with this every time i write. its hard to know what will resonate with readers, and i think my best writing has come through when it's something i really *want* to write about. something i find entertaining or interesting and can talk about for hours. otherwise it feels really forced and unpleasant for me, writing process wise
same!! i find it so hard to write to an audience but i think writing about topics you find interesting or entertaining is a good approach! it's hard to know if others will feel the same but at least the writing quality will be strong and enthusiastic
i struggle with overthinking regarding clothes. so i often end up not ordering something secondhand or new i like online and want to try out, then often dont feel great about my wardrobe options. would love any insight you might have around this <3
hi vanessa! i think the best way to move through overthinking is just observe why you are unsure about: is it uncertainty or worry about how the garment looks, how it looks on you, how it feels, the price, etc? that is where i would start to reflect, maybe practice taking outfit photos and keeping a record of when you feel uncertain and why. good luck <3
I am so inspired by you and Ethaney’s friendship - it’s so joyful to see snippets of it online! Do you have any advice for staying close and connected with friends as adulthood and distance start to make hanging out all the time difficult? I wish I could buy a row of houses all on the same street and put my friends in them 🥲
hi ellie! it was very lucky that ethaney and i lived close enough that we could have the spontaneous hang outs that deepen a friendship. making friends as an adult is so hard. all the thinkpieces about how our generation has no third spaces or community. during the pandemic i tried some friendship apps like bumble bff and i did meet one lovely person through it. i've seen some creators online start snail mail clubs where they pair people to be friends through writing letters..idk its interesting seeing how much the internet has shaped the way we connect and think about friendship.
for staying connecting, sometimes there is a lot of power in a random "hi just thinking of u." text. even if it seems out of the blue.
saaame heeeere 😭💖
Attending a wedding in Mendocino County this summer and the dress code is “California Cocktail.” I have no context for this as an East Coast resident—the FAQ says cocktail or semiformal, but I’d love to know how you interpret that dress code!
hi Sara! I would say the image that comes to mind is a dressy dress that looks like reformation or doen…I’m rly not a fan of Ref’s materials and price point but yeah they really are the company behind the California wedding guest dress industrial complex. I totally understand wanting to dress respectfully for the dress code. I think you cannot go wrong with a long midi or maxi dress in a silky material, or even separates like a dressy crop top and high waisted pants.
Thank you! I have a silk maxi dress I was hoping to wear but wasn’t sure if that was too formal, so that is very reassuring. Now to brainstorm a jacket for when it gets chilly in the evening (it is outdoors).
How was the process of changing careers from public health to writing/freelancing, and what helped you thru the tough unknowing parts? I just ended a job and am currently re-evaluating what kind of work I want to seek out and it’s been very existential crisis inducing hahaha. love your substack 💖
hi melissa! ughhhhhh it was hard lol.
i knew i wanted to make a big career switch at some point so i did save up money in anticipation of making less money for a while/indefinitely. so far freelancing does not come close to my old public health salary but it's a process and tradeoff and i'm trying to believe in the long term. ending a job can be so scary. i think...just stay open to possibilities. it is ok to be terrified of rejection, but everything worthwhile is worth the risk. it is a good time to explore who you are, what kind of "work" you feel is right for you regardless of societal or internal expectations.
Any tips for building a non-neutral capsule wardrobe? I love the idea of one, but all blogs take a very plain approach. I love colour and pattern, and still want to dress with character!
hi shirley!
i also find neutral capsule wardrobes so boring and draining. what has worked for me:
-knowing what colors i like together (ie red and pink, red and brown, brown and yellow)
-where i like my colors (hat purse shoe pant all of the above???)
How do you get yourself out of a mental funk? Whether it be waking up on the wrong side of your bed or some external or internal event causing turmoil, what do you tell yourself or force yourself to do to eradicate that feeling?
Hi Halle! mental funks are so weird so i get how hard it is to deal w. recently i was in a bit of a funk bc i was submitting a lot of pitches that were getting rejected by editors. i knew it wasn't personal and rejections are a super normal part of writing but im sensitive. i think the biggest comforts for me are food and rest...ordering something i really love eating like pho or a hamburger. and then taking a shower and just lounging in bed w my thoughts. i feel like that i have friends and family to turn if i want to talk it out. funks are hard tho. i think we all have different way of self soothing
I’m a recent subscriber so I have many questions! Why did you start your newsletter?
Hi Talía! I started my newsletter because I wanted to write fashion/style/culture content that I felt was missing from the online space...topics that I would want to read about. I loved reading fashion blogs when I was younger but never felt brave enough to "write publicly" until 2021ish
Hi Viv! Any suggestions for warm weather closed-toe shoes? I’m thinking of onitsuka tiger sneakers and one other pair of sandals or flats that I can dress up/ down!
hi clare! i love my tigers and if you can find them secondhand at a good price i love martinianos and the cecilie bahnsen saras.
thank you!!
hi viv! do you have advice on how to explore fashion as a hobby? your substack is the only one i’m following rn and would love pointers to other writers and creators!
hi lyra! fashion as a hobby can mean so many things: not just shopping and buying clothing but styling, curating, writing, photography, illustration etc! it took some time to find the modes that spoke to me and my interests. i know on substack you can probably look up other writers im following on my profile page, i would start there. but tbh i follow a lot of creatives who aren't in fashion! tbh that can be the best source of inspo sometimes. i find that when i think too much about who else in the same "cultural space" as me i can get in my own head about whether my ideas are fresh...if my POV is valuable, etc.
Curious what your laundry routine is like? Do you separate lights and darks? I struggle with clothes losing vibrancy and their original shape/texture but I don’t know if I have the energy to be so meticulous about care instructions.
i read this and was like hmmm what DO i even do for laundry???
growing up my mom's way of laundry was "insides" and "outsides" so loosely organized by how germ-y they were
insides are undies and t shirts and little things that touch the skin and are delicate
outsides are pants jackets socks things that get grimier or touch public seats
i still generally use this method
i don't really separate lights and darks tbh
for knits i do try to be more careful about them bc they're delicate...i'll do a cold water gentle wash and let them air dry. if i didn't struggle with hand eczema i'd hand wash delicates more.
not a super relevant one but...what's your skincare routine? because you have immaculate skin and i am so so jealous
omg lexi you're so kind lol
-i do get pimples quite often under my bangs, they're just hidden by the hair! i used to get pretty bad fungal acne along my hairline from sweaty bangs
-many years ago my partner went to this local esthetician studio and that's how i ended up working with them to get acne extractions. the first appt you have to bring your makeup bag...at the time i was korean-skincare-pilled and the esthie was like damn this stuff is clogging you up girl...i was skeptical at first in general about skincare studios but i used all her recommended products and it worked rly well for me. so ive been using their skincare for 7 years and its kinda nice that i never feel the need to branch out into "IG skincare brands" cause i know these work for me: https://seventhirty.co/
-i also did get a theraface last yr and have been inconsistently microcurrenting. idk if its really THAT big of a help long term but i do think that if i use it 3 days in a row there is a little more of a bouncy boiled egg look?
ok this is so helpful thank you!! i used to get extractions once in awhile when my mom was willing to shell out for it, but haven't actually put the money into getting a dedicated "treatment facial" with extractions myself since i started living (and paying) on my own (lol). but maybe i should! also the bouncy boiled egg look is exactly what i love––i have a lot of texture and scarring from being a former hormonal cystic acne sufferer so i don't really feel like that look is super achievable for me, but i'd try anything that might get me closer to it.
yeah sometimes its like...wow is the secret just....money??? and genetics?
cause my skin was "best" when i was paying for professional extractions. my experience is that facials are nice and relaxing but don't really get the "results" i want, whereas extractions hurt like hell but i'm willing to do it maybe 3-4 times a year if i feel really clogged up and frustrated.
money really does help lol...i definitely feel like getting extractions was needed for me, especially at that time when my skin was really suffering––i still think i could use them but struggle to figure out where to get them as i've only ever had them done as a part of a facial service (usually taking up about half the service). but maybe i need to hunt!
for sure, i think finding a reputable place is 50% of the battle. also with acne breakouts i know that skincare/extraction is the only remedy that i'm really willing to try, as opposed to cutting out certain foods. so much conventional "skincare advice" sounds like an ED
god SOOOOO true. i am not going to just stop eating great food for my entire life because i have a breakout sometimes, and i don't believe in hyperanalyzing every thing i put in my mouth in pursuit of perfect skin, a "perfect" body, any of it.
Hey! How did you support yourself financially while pursuing fashion writing? What work were you doing behind The Molehill took off? x
Hi b! I was working full time in public health while writing my newsletter, and since going fully freelance I rely on a mix of newsletter subscriptions, brand/social media projects, and copywriting.
Hi Viv. Feel better!! I'm very curious about your creative process! How do you come up with content ideas for your newsletter, and how do you determine which topics you want/don't want to post about?
I love reading along on the Molehill so thank you for writing such a great newsletter!!
hi emma! my process is all over the place...but i would say that since i started taking writing more seriously it can feel like my brain does not shut off re: thinking of ideas
i may be watching a tv show or eating a meal and then a random idea or question will come up, or just an observation. i'll write it down in my substack drafts, which is like a long notes app of random ideas or a photo or something i wanted to mentally bookmark.
if a subject feels timely, i will be more inclined to write about that. if i feel stuck sometimes i just scroll through all my old drafts and see if anything jumps out to me as more interesting or something to be revived. for example, that man repeller piece. it started out as a blank corn kernel of an idea a few months ago in 2023! and just took a long time for me to even feel like i had anything worthwhile to say about it.
and then sometimes it's just like very product driven bc i have been very excited about a pair of jeans, and i will just write about why i love them. those are "easier" than the longer reflection pieces, from a creative process perspective
what’s a fashion risk you’ve been trying to take more lately, if there are any?
hi aya! to be honest idk if i have really been taking fashion risks. maybe i need to take more...if anything i think im trying to let go of the pressure to be dressed up all the time or when i need to do so for a photo project. it can feel thrilling sometimes to wear the most ugly unfashionable drab clothes to the post office and feel like no one would notice me bc i am incognito
lmaooo i love that. the power of a “do NOT perceive me” outfit is underutilized and underappreciated!!
Hello! I'm curious to know how do you balance fashion/style writing that is both entertaining and informative?
hi CJ! i struggle with this every time i write. its hard to know what will resonate with readers, and i think my best writing has come through when it's something i really *want* to write about. something i find entertaining or interesting and can talk about for hours. otherwise it feels really forced and unpleasant for me, writing process wise
same!! i find it so hard to write to an audience but i think writing about topics you find interesting or entertaining is a good approach! it's hard to know if others will feel the same but at least the writing quality will be strong and enthusiastic
i struggle with overthinking regarding clothes. so i often end up not ordering something secondhand or new i like online and want to try out, then often dont feel great about my wardrobe options. would love any insight you might have around this <3
hi vanessa! i think the best way to move through overthinking is just observe why you are unsure about: is it uncertainty or worry about how the garment looks, how it looks on you, how it feels, the price, etc? that is where i would start to reflect, maybe practice taking outfit photos and keeping a record of when you feel uncertain and why. good luck <3
aw love this, thank u so much :)
would love to know your favorite movies, at the moment or of all time :)
ive been trying to track them on letterboxed! https://letterboxd.com/vivthemole/