On one late summer Tuesday last year, I was at Marin Country Mart with Ethaney trying to kill time as we waited for the blonde hostess at Hog Island Oyster to call our names.
I love the way you write, and I can picture all of it. I definitely do not relate to the Nancy Myers aesthetic though I am IRL meno -- and I guess now I think about it: privileged, hard working, trying not to be an asshole, no uterus 🤷♀️ definitely up for some birds nest soup
I'm a menopausal Latine reader and love your style. I really relate to your experience at the Marin restaurant. Lately the sense that something is clearly not intended for me is my primary experience when it comes to fashion.
This year, after a period of intense caretaking for others, I suddenly have time and space to consider my closet as a priority. I'm also having a surprise second act as a writer with a (sometimes) public identity and feeling good in my clothes is essential to my wellbeing in that role.
Menocore (what I used to call therapist style lol--mine used to wear head to toe Eileen Fisher) isn't my thing--but adjacent to that-- especially in terms of ditching the male gaze--I've reconsidered the Tibiverse and tuned into other new (to me) modern designers only to discover that at a size 16-18 these clothes are not available.
If I want tight fitting and sexy or rich lady classic I can find something. J Crew and Anthro are now size inclusive which is helpful. If I wanted Eileen Fisher, at least they go up to a size 3x.
Exploring the world of online high end resale has been similarly disheartening. Unless I want a fancy purse (I don't) or shoes (I always do). But do I really want to support brands that exclude so many?
So I guess right now my menocore manifesto is to challenge designers (esp brands like Tibi who claim to support style for every age, shape and size grrr) to engage is some feminist activism via their priducts so people like me, who are finally able to consider buying full price high end clothes, can. In addition I would ask all brands to carry a full size range in their stores and to use models of all sizes in their campaigns.
This is a tiny thing in the face of all the injustice happening in the world right now but perhaps an easier fix than most.
Representation matters.
Thanks for inspiring conversation with your posts. I always look forward to them.
I love the way you write, and I can picture all of it. I definitely do not relate to the Nancy Myers aesthetic though I am IRL meno -- and I guess now I think about it: privileged, hard working, trying not to be an asshole, no uterus 🤷♀️ definitely up for some birds nest soup
I'm a menopausal Latine reader and love your style. I really relate to your experience at the Marin restaurant. Lately the sense that something is clearly not intended for me is my primary experience when it comes to fashion.
This year, after a period of intense caretaking for others, I suddenly have time and space to consider my closet as a priority. I'm also having a surprise second act as a writer with a (sometimes) public identity and feeling good in my clothes is essential to my wellbeing in that role.
Menocore (what I used to call therapist style lol--mine used to wear head to toe Eileen Fisher) isn't my thing--but adjacent to that-- especially in terms of ditching the male gaze--I've reconsidered the Tibiverse and tuned into other new (to me) modern designers only to discover that at a size 16-18 these clothes are not available.
If I want tight fitting and sexy or rich lady classic I can find something. J Crew and Anthro are now size inclusive which is helpful. If I wanted Eileen Fisher, at least they go up to a size 3x.
Exploring the world of online high end resale has been similarly disheartening. Unless I want a fancy purse (I don't) or shoes (I always do). But do I really want to support brands that exclude so many?
So I guess right now my menocore manifesto is to challenge designers (esp brands like Tibi who claim to support style for every age, shape and size grrr) to engage is some feminist activism via their priducts so people like me, who are finally able to consider buying full price high end clothes, can. In addition I would ask all brands to carry a full size range in their stores and to use models of all sizes in their campaigns.
This is a tiny thing in the face of all the injustice happening in the world right now but perhaps an easier fix than most.
Representation matters.
Thanks for inspiring conversation with your posts. I always look forward to them.
“There’s aspirational fatigue that sells $10k mountain bikes, and there’s real fatigue that grinds your spirit down.” Beautiful.
She says “no worries” and actually means it because there is nothing to worry about it. cmommmmm. So good.
It is interesting to me that you seem to assume non of your readers are in fact, in menopause
I find the whole discourse really ageist.