emily in paris is cocomelon for the fashion girls

watch episodes 1-5 with me

*read in browser, it’s long and will cut off :)

i love emily in paris for the same reason i loved crazy rich asians. it’s literally just cocomelon for the fashion girls. put that shit on an ipad in front of me with some chicken nuggets and a fizzy drink, and i will stay mesmerized for hours! it’s not pretentious. and i don’t expect to glean anything insightful from it.

this makes it the perfect airplane entertainment (especially since i was headed to miss emily cooper’s hometown of chicago). what better way to spend the flight than tuning into the latest escapades of our favorite print-clashing product-launching girlboss??

what follows is my live commentary and reactions as i watched.

it contains spoilers for everything that happens through episode 5!

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• ok emily’s episode opening outfit is bubblegum pink and emerald green. that romper looks very uncomfortable. very stiff and i just know it’s giving the worst wedgie. what is that bolero thing? this looks like a lily pulitzer x jacquemus collab, which might actually be the perfect characterization of our protagonist

• our girlypop careerist is careering as usual. her obsessive work ethic and uptightness reminds me a LOT of marnie michaels (you have to read this marnie character analysis by

  principal investigator
  ). emily would also 1000% start a *fun* business marketing substack in the style of feed me and be obsessed with validation like being on the leaderboard

• lmaooo course gabriel is ~injured~ so emily can play the flirty nurse role and help him. you know, i do like the leeks sticking out of his bag though. gabriel would have a softboi cooking substack called something like letters from normandy. it would be stories about his rustic childhood food memories like how his maman taught him the the importance of fresh butter <3

• this egg cooking scene is feeling very product placement-y already…the zoom onto her dainty gold ring stack while she cracks the eggs

• wait wtf. she just messes up his eggs and leaves the hot pan midway to go to work?? rudeeee! ringarde!!

• sylvie just dropped a bar: “you broadcast your entire life for public consumption and now it’s affecting my business.” sylvie’s substack would be about being a bad bitch in her 60s and if you ever left a comment asking where her jeans are from she would just be like, “vintage x” also she would not be on notes cause that’s too ringarde for her

• ok it annoys me when sylvie samples the maison lavaux baccarat perfume and literally just inhales the top note after a spritz. her character would be the type to let it settle and take in the base notes, no?

• lol not the labor exploitation of the two asian characters + working class benoit cause there’s no budget for eurovision. but isn’t mindy a nepo baby? i feel like it’ll be fine. they’ll get the money

• poar alfie! getting punched in the face at boxing bc emily barrels into the gym to talk to him before he’s emotionally ready. and then she gets to play the flirty nurse again with the ice pack. also i don’t think alfie would write on substack but he would subscribe to some random finance ones and emily’s knockoff feed me newsletter to be a supportive bf!!!

• mkay back to sylvie in the drapey neutrals

• lol at mindy criticizing the gig economy and referencing her feet pic era in high school in one breath. it’s interesting they wrote this chinese heiress character to have arguably the most class conscious lines. also she’s definitely the friend who always drops random lore years into knowing her

• nicolas not being able to stand up for mindy is the reason why we should not go along with the whole “i want a man in finance” wealth fetish thing. i do not like him

• mindy is very chaotic but fun. i think she would do a fashion/lifestyle substack with juicy stories about yacht parties and relationship q+a’s. she would also be unapologetic about her branded posts with net-a-porter. #affiliatequeen

• julien consistently has great style imo. that little crystal lizard brooch???? im taking notes

• outfit change for emily, aka circus tent. it’s giving nicole kidman amc commercial but tbh, i don’t hate it. she’s done worse

• eye roll when alfie conveniently decides to forgive emily just in time to save the ami ad with their kiss cam moment. pointing to a literal AD as proof of their true love is so lame :/ not to get too media critique rn but i feel like the ubiquity of social media couples showing their “love” for views has really messed up a lot of our expectations of relationships

• oh i’m seated for this vestiaire ad!

• i like mindy’s cotton candy hat but i hate the jumpsuit bc it reminds me of a weird rose printed rayon skirt i had from urban outfitters in 2014

• this is really peak ad, they’re not even trying to make it subtle

• and cue the vestiaire employee in the lab coat to signify authority and scientific methodTM

• ok cool she gets her eurovision money! lmao the immediate vestiaire payday is unrealistic

• camille is missing?? way to shoehorn the missing white woman syndrome plot at the end of the episode. did she pull a gone girl?

• i can’t believe she just outs camille to gabriel…

• the monochrome lemon drop set is a nice color though

• mindy is valid, nicolas is such a coward for not standing up to his dad. i do not think they will be endgame (but it’s funny that the couple is together IRL!!!)

• this brand closet shopping spree doesn’t feel like a real apology or commitment to accountability for his actions but ok…gotta remember this is a girlypop brand marketing tv show

• wait i’m confused why does she need a brand closet buddy

• ohhh ok…so nicolas’s dad is a creep…surprise surprise

• idk who this is but the styling is lovely, the tied silk scarf and the slightly popped collar with the vest layering!!!

• ok so camille ISN’T in greece? she might have really pulled a gone girl or a year of rest and relaxation. camille’s substack would be cool art girl vibes. lots of personal essays about girlhood with screenshots of old paintings (she would definitely caption every single painting with the artist and the year, in italics). she would post every 5 months and also be a bestseller despite or because of this mystery girl act

• big win for brunette girls with long bangs and blue suit jackets. i knew this outfit looked familiar

• wait what???? they located camille—all this time they could have just checked find my friends???

• camille and emily working it out on the remix

• hands down the best costuming moment of the season. i love that they had to buy emergency museum gift shop monet clothes from head to toe. this costuming enhances a rare moment of vulnerability in the show, which makes their friendship feel slightlyyy more realistic. you know it was silent in the car ride home too

• girl. i know you did not just check out the police.

• camille ate here. 10/10. looks like shushutong. emily’s outfit would eat if she were in a pacific heights (san francisco) run club

• is it bad i kind of want to see a storyline where they get together…

• these drinks are very ghia coded. also i have to say i really like emily’s suspenders and tie. it reminds me of thom browne

• this grin when she accidentally leaks camille’s pregnancy in front of everyone at work is positively villainous. she is such a bad friend for not being able to keep a single secret

• missoni king

• emily’s outfit is like if you asked AI to create something based on marimekko and stine goya

• lmaooo you know what my favorite thing about this show is? how none of the characters really balk at emily’s theatrical outfits or comment on them. gabriel just sees emily in this madeline-joins-a-nunnery getup and is like, hey :)

• i know where i’ve seen this striped situation before…

• out of all the fake names she could have chosen she went with anna o leary???

• somehow emily strikes me as the kind of person who loves the “bow trend” but also has never heard of sandy liang if you know what i mean. she is looking positively pilgrim-esque here

• wait also i think i didn’t fully pay attention to the living situation drama but the fact that emily snitched on camille and sofia to the landlandy character is truly vile. honestly it’s these character traits about emily (checking out the policemen, ratting people out to property owners) that makes her soooo deeply american imo

• i love the colors and the knit textures here. they look so cozy and i feel like this is a costuming strategy to make gabriel and camille appear more “compatible” or at least in the same world. whereas sofia and emily both feel on the outs in this point in the show, and that’s reflected through their bolder/more chaotic clothing. camille and gab look so mom and dad here

• LOVE CAMILLE’S JACKET

• aw they kinda broke up :(( i get where sofia is coming from though…

• now they’re back together cause they said i love you. also they’re both wearing tailored long coats in this scene! costuming is definitely being used to reflect the characters’ interpersonal relationships

• hmm i feel like it was intentional to write in a skincare product storyline and make the founder mindy’s asian friend. the show is trying to get in on the k-beauty market/hype

• so this is a face lube??? where is this going

• classic emily solution, raising the price to save the brand. she is definitely the kind of marketing person to tell pharma brands to raise the price of insulin if it serves the company :D sigh

• oh no….miscarriage?? also why did they put her in a leopard print top for this obgyn appointment? are they trying to imply something feral is about to happen

• so that whole storyline ended up as….a fake pregnancy…

• this trio hug is so awkward. clearly there’s still secrets and tension between them

• and i guess that is THE END OF PART 1

thank you for reading!!! this was really fun and i hope it felt lighthearted and a nice mental break from work or whatever else you are doing else.

PART 2 will be out soon after the next batch of episodes release, and will be for paid subscribers.

If you enjoy this sort of fashion writing, a paid subscription or tip is deeply and eternally appreciated <3

xoxo viv

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