ephemeral beauty is worth it

vanitas painting, jan van kessel

Valentine’s Day, the most politicized day for flowers.

As grocery stores start lining up their displays of traditional red rose bouquets, flowers have been on my mind. How flowers are central to depictions of romance, how Miley Cyrus triumphantly belts that we can buy ourselves flowers in her self-love anthem. When I see someone buy a bouquet I wonder if it’s for themselves or someone else. As an armchair floriographer, I try to gauge from the flowers they chose what sentiment they’re trying to express. Get well soon? I’m sorry? Thinking of you? Congratulations? I hope you like me too?

I think flowers are always important and necessary because they’re a universal symbol of beauty. Artists and writers have been endlessly inspired by flowers. Civilizations have always included flowers in rituals and ceremonies—especially those marking births and deaths. In times of war, flowers are often a symbol of peace.

There’s a scene in White Lotus that always stuck with me, when Quentin talks to Tanya about beauty over a sinister nightcap. I found myself relating to him on a deep level.

Quentin: A world without beauty is not a world I'd want to live in. I'd also die for beauty, wouldn't you?

Tanya: To beauty.

I would do a lot in the name of beauty. I’ve always felt a strong emotional attachment to material, tangible objects. When something is beautiful, I want to be close to it. Wear it, hold it, share it, eat it. If a pair of shoes is too big I still want it, not to wear but to look at and experience as art. This is a core part of who I am and why I love fashion. In the past I’ve felt self-conscious about this, and it came from internalized shame around aesthetic pursuits like fashion and makeup being treated as vapid in society.

The beauty of flowers has always been in the background of my life. The humble daisy: one of the first things I learned to draw. A Crayola circle, surrounded by petals, and a smiley face in the middle. The jasmine shrub: a plant I was fascinated by because of the white sap from the stem, which I’d drag over my nails and pretend it was a coat of Essie polish. Dried flowers: an activity I’d spend a summer day on, picking weeds and flowers at the park and stamping them between pages of a heavy dictionary. Flowers teach us about time. You have to appreciate when they reach full bloom because beauty is ephemeral and they’re meant to die eventually. (I am anti-artificial flowers for that reason). I love that flowers exist solely for beauty and not for utility. That’s what I wish for myself….to never exist for utility.

Azuma Makoto, fashion’s go-to florist, on gifting seasonal flowers

Something that excites me is the increasing popularity of ikebana and other evolutions of floral arrangement art. They go beyond the familiar bouquet, crafting flowers into unexpected sculptural forms. It’s avant-garde and focused on the compositional experience rather than the individual flower. Eater ran an article last week on artists marrying flowers and food as materials in their tablescapes (my personal favorite artist to follow on IG is Pearl).

From IG: @p_e_a__rl

I’ll leave you with my fake haiku:

Happy Valentine’s Day from me to me

Here’s to flowers and beauty and reverie

bell hooks coziness manifesto