march favorites
+ why people are looking for proxy shoppers on substack.
“I’m an oakland clog mom so I HAD to read the rest of the berkeley bowl article. Hilariously accurate, sent it to all my friends!” — Violet, paid reader
Good morning!
I’m sitting by the window next to the blooming dogwood tree chomping on a Courage Bagel mailed up from LA by Molehill reader Jen (thank you, I am so grateful!). No bagels in the Bay really compare. I was having such a craving for them, so I put out a request on Notes essentially seeking a bagel shopping proxy and Jen replied.
When the package arrived, I shrieked with joy and sprinted to grab the box cutter.
The aroma of sesame seeds, toasted garlic, and poppyseeds were so deliciously pungent. It transported me right to Virgil Ave, among the pink jacaranda trees and LA girlies in their Eckhaus Latta tees and watery-eyed little chihuahuas dangling a paw out of a beaten tote bag.
This breakfast alone is my reason for getting out of bed. I like my bagels with whipped cream cheese, salted heirloom tomato, red onions quick-pickled in Brightland champagne vinegar, lemon olive oil (also Brightland, my link gets you 15% off) and a sprinkle of chives.
In between toothsome chews, it occurred to me that Substack newsletters are the best place to find shopping proxies. Because who needs Goldbelly when you can turn to the newsletter network to import bagels from another city??? There seems to be a baseline level of trust and good faith between readers/writers—even if we’ve never met—because we belong to this online community.
Example #2: a determined reader used the chat to secure her shopping proxy for this weekend’s NYC Sandy Liang sample sale (hooray). I think it’s cool that online newsletter spaces are making it possible for us to get our hands on coveted items from cities we don’t live in.
With the announcement of the Trump tariffs sending consumer confidence and economic outlook into the grim depths, I forsee online fashion spaces like this fueling a rise in informal proxy shopping/shipping arrangements. If you already have a Canadian friend who will mail you your SSENSE orders, lucky.
Historically, tough economies give rise to bartering—”casual swaps between friends and acquaintances.”
As I scan the aisles of Berkeley Bowl wondering which hyper-local goodies to mail back to Jen as a thank you, I wonder if there is a term for what we are. Proxy pals? Barter buddies?
While goods and money are exchanged, the spirit of the relationship feels rooted in a genuine favor rather than an impersonal transaction. Like, offering to help someone as a sample sale proxy—I imagine it’s not the sort of thing you would want to do at scale (for more than one person). It works best in small, 1:1 pairings.
Overall, I’m noticing a shift towards resourcefulness and greater comfortability in asking each other for help—and I’m here for it.
Would you use Substack to find a proxy? And if so, for what?
For the new Bay Area readers who found me through the Berkeley Bowl style piece, welcome. Today’s free newsletter covers:
fashion favorites (vintage + new)
where to eat in the Bay Area
wellness habits (for the shitshow that is allergy season/fickle weather)
My jade Elsa Peretti bean necklace—do you ever feel like your jewelry or clothing take on a new personality when the seasons change? I got this little pea green beauty in the winter, and wore it over dark sweaters and holiday party dresses. But I feel that Spring is truly her season. The jade looks more glowy and translucent in the morning sun, and pairs well with a soft v-neck knit. In Chinese culture, jade is often described with animated language, as if it were alive and mutable. I understand.
A vintage Vivienne Tam patchwork print set—this is my first Vivienne Tam piece despite being interested in her work for many years (we can appreciate art without wanting to own it, etc). The first person who gave me the Vivienne Tam bug was collector Amanda Walujono, who I interviewed for a story about dragon motifs in 2021. She wears the mesh pieces so beautifully. Anyways, I had a few prints on my radar and this patchwork set was one of them. I am not sure if it’s from the 90s or 00s. The colors are even more beautiful in person, like the warmth of a spice cabinet. Who says you have to wear pastels in Spring?
Silk Set from Soft & Wet—sumptous, high-quality silk lingerie (do you see that luster?!). The bralette in particular are my favorite for layering under sheer tops and dresses for warm weather, because it looks like *intentional.* Especially when the frill lettuce hem peeks out from the neckline. If you prefer underwire/more structured bra shape, I like the Araks Gita bra, also silk and comes in gorgeous colors.
Lilac sunglasses—I’m so into a colorful frame. Green is my default but I like to mix it up. These remind me of the best thing about spring—the flowers. Such a simple pleasure, when the trees turn pink and the bushes purple. I love a magnolia. I love a lavender. And of course, I love a cherry blossom.
Peanut suede sneaker—in my 4 years of writing a fashion newsletter, the most common question by far is where to find cute and comfy basic sneakers. I recommend the Keen Jaspers a lot because they are the most comfortable for me, but some find them to be too crunchy/gorpy. These Larroude ones fit the bill, if you like the trendy Dries/Miu Miu look. They work with socks and a miniskirt, but also with sweatpants.
Finally, I got a box of Japanese eBay gems that I’d been building last month. It was hands down my best order ever, and I will write about it in an upcoming post.
Dry Sauna—my gym has a small wood dry sauna in the bathroom and I had never thought to use it until this past winter during a particularly bone chilling week. The first time I went, I felt like I was choking on woodchip air…could barely do 3 minutes. But I just kept going because I love the feeling of being enveloped by dry heat in absolute silence. It is similar to meditation. The blood in your fingers, toes and cheeks warm up, and my body feels like it’s radiating warmth from the inside out for the next hour. It’s also really soothing for period cramps and the dreaded ache-y lower back feeling. The intense heat relaxes my muscles and just makes me feel less depressed. I call it, “going for a parbake.”
Hatch Sleep Clock (*sponsored mention)—I’m a night owl, which is fine considering I can mostly set my own working hours. However. Lately I’ve gotten in a bad habit of staying up till 1am because of insomnia and then going on my phone because I’m so bored of being awake against my will, which makes it worse and so the cycle continues. But I’m trying to be better about this by using the “Unwind” setting on my Hatch. I press it when I get in bed (sitting up, not yet supine lol) which cues the light to dim and thunderstorm sounds to play for a while before the lights really go dark. It calms my mind, and my dog likes it too.
Blue Willow Tearoom (Berkeley)—the matcha latte here is a bright grass-green served in a piping hot ceramic bowl with a drizzle of date syrup. They take their tea very seriously, but without any snobbery. Go there right when it opens at 11am to snag the tatami mat nook, best seat in the house.
Baby Cafe (San Leandro)—Hong Kong bistro food in the “San Gabriel Valley of the East Bay.” Locations in Boston as well, I believe. They specialize in hainan chicken, and that is the best thing on the menu. I recommend ordering a whole chicken (around $31) because you’ll have leftovers! Get a red bean milk drink too. Pork and century egg congee was hearty, though texture was quite thick, and I would skip the “side specialty dishes” like the stir-fry clams which were not very fresh. Would come back on the weekend when I’m in the mood for a drive and Cantonese comfort food.
Abaca (San Francisco)—modern take on Filipino dishes. It’s in the lobby of a hotel, which creates a sort of wanderlust-y ambiance. Lots of celebratory/big group dinners. I felt that the dishes needed more acid and zing.
The Sunday (Emeryville)—casual setting, brunch classics with a Korean American twist. I am generally not into brunch because I don’t like paying for eggs. So I ordered the lemon ricotta pancake combo (I could make this…but…I won’t lol). It was zesty and fluffy and made me disassociate in a good way. Go in a group and order Korean chicken wings for the table.
Photos I will look back on and think, “that was the essence of March 2025.”
xoxo viv
I may earn a small commission on purchases made through affiliate links.
“I could make this… but… I won’t”
Real. Me every time I go to brunch lol
Guys, I hate to be the Debbie Downer because I love the idea of barter buddies, but be wary of custom fees if/when you're sending things internationally. I'm Canadian but have family in the UK and Ireland. We've experimented with sending care parcels to each other and the customs fees ended up being more than the cost of all the items and the shipping. Not saying it's a bad idea overall, but don't be like me. Do your research before heading to the post office.