is the diamond engagement ring dead?
in a survey of 500 people, the majority preferred other gemstones.
This newsletter covers:
why bay area couples are ditching diamonds for jade
survey results from ~500 people on their preferred engagement ring stones
a secondhand sonar drop inspired by vintage jewelry I own (fish pendant, jade, colored gemstones, puffy shapes, etc)—everything is under $300 and a reflection of my personal taste
the moodboard: a mix of my own pieces and some from the google doc that you can shop.
Paid readers get it all. If you’ve been thinking about upgrading, this one is worth it :)
As an Economics student in college, I had a hard time understanding abstract concepts like quantitive easing policy or earned income tax credits. I just studied hard enough to do well on papers and tests, and then promptly forgot everything. Don’t ask me to explain anything!
But the one concept that clicked immediately for me was the lesson on De Beers’ monopoly of the diamond industry. Buy up all the supply (the mines), create artificial demand and a cultural taste for the product (“diamonds are a girl’s best friend”) and then you can basically charge whatever price you want. [Insert evil finger taps]. While De Beers no longer has a monopoly on the industry, the influence of its advertising still runs deep in the Western cultural veins. It’s why diamonds are still seen as the premier stone for newly engaged women. However, in 2025, natural diamonds are losing their shine due in part to the expansion of lab-grown diamonds and fewer people having weddings.
Anyways, the language of jewelry comes easily to me, as I suspect it does for most women. Culturally, we have names for men who are obsessed with *alternative* forms of currency, like crypto bros. But the equivalent doesn’t really exist for women.
We have a special relationship with precious metals and stones. We are drawn to its materiality. Its beauty and value is real in the sense that you can see it, feel the weight of it in your palm. Many of our grandmothers probably remember a time when they weren’t allowed to have bank accounts or credit cards; the only way to get out a desperate situation was to liquidate their jewelry at a pawn shop. In media, we’re also familiar with the melancholic romance of a woman selling her engagement ring as a step towards economic autonomy—a fresh start after a relationship turned sour.
In the realm of style, jewelry is perhaps the ultimate representation of our individual identities. On a collective level, shifts in jewelry tastes reflect changes in our aesthetic values.
Which is why I was so captivated by this recent story by Olivia Cruz Mayeda on why Bay Area couples ditching engagement diamonds for jade.
I love when there are style stories coming out of San Francisco that don’t center on what tech bros are wearing!!!! Because we are so much more than that discourse, which only captures a sliver of our region’s impact on style trends.
The article focuses on Emilie Jehng, the jeweler behind softgoodstudio. (Take a look at the IG feed—it’s beautiful). Personally, I’ve been working with Emilie since last fall to design and source a custom ring…more to come, but it’s very me :)
Emilie has witnessed an increase in couples requesting custom engagement rings made specifically of jade. We hear from some of these couples on their thought process, most of whom are queer and/or people of color. Their reasons for choosing jade include:
cultural significance, especially for those with Asian, Mexican, and Central American backgrounds
less conventional and traditional than diamonds
less costly than diamonds (generally speaking, but it depends)
This was super interesting to me, and I wanted more data!
So I did a quick and dirty poll on my Instagram stories asking folks what stone they preferred for a hypothetical (or real) engagement ring. The options were: diamond, jade, other gemstone, or no stone—just a band.
For demographic context, my audience is primarily women/femmes, ages 25-45, live in large cities, with progressive/liberal politics that usually come with less traditional views towards marraige and weddings.
About 500 people responded, and the results surprised me: