sharing clothes is my favorite form of intimacy

what I'm doing instead of packing my winter clothes away in storage boxes.

first pink tulips of the year

Happy March! The weather’s starting to get really nice in the Bay. Like, let’s get a matcha and lie on a blanket in the park all afternoon nice. Let’s eat acorn noodle bowls outdoors at Joodooboo at 7pm nice. Was I depressed or did I just need a sunny 68 degree day nice!

This weekend, I decided I was ready to pack away my cold weather gear for the year. I got a bunch of stuff specifically for the New York tundra last month but frankly, as long as I steer clear of the Outer Sunset in June (iykyk), I won’t need my merino wool base leggings for a loooong time. As I was separating my extra thick seal blubber heat tech from my all-weather thin heat tech and fishing out wool snoods from my drawers, it hit me that my family could actually use all this stuff.

My parents are traveling to see the Northern Lights. They’ll be the first in our bloodline to be in the Arctic Circle and I think it’s really cool. My sibling caught the snowboarding bug, and it feels like they’re out on the slopes every other weekend nowadays.

As the eldest of three, I was raised to be resourceful about sharing clothes and constantly assessing what could go in a hand-me-down pile. My mom and siblings can share most of my clothes and shoes—we’re not all exactly the same size, but for things like stretchy leggings and headwear, it works. Same goes for some of my close friends. It makes me happy when my loved ones are comfortable borrowing my clothes and vice versa. I love sharing clothes with the people I love!!!

So I decided to make a communal family cold weather gear kit of sorts. But it’s less hand-me-down, and more “we have REI co-op at home,” because a lot of the stuff is honestly in pristine condition.

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Today I went to my sibling’s apartment carrying a big Santa sack of cold weather gear to give them first dibs. Here’s what they picked out to borrow indefinitely—

First up, these lug sole weather boots which I initially got for the New York snow, but have not been worn since I’ve been back in California. I know my siblings’ tastes very well and knew they would loveeeeee these. It made me so happy when they were like, “these are so cute wtf!!!” As a big sister it never gets old spoiling your little littermates with nice things. Drink a hot cocoa at the lodge in them for me please!

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Next, they tried on the moss green wool snood that kept my head warm in New York. That was a keeper too. I think this design is ideal for people with bangs because it minimally presses down on them, unlike a beanie. I hate beanies. I also like how you can tuck it into a coat collar, or let it layer over (pictured below).

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The last cherry of the pick was this magenta pink, orange trim lightweight down puffer from Mont-bell that I got secondhand for $35 on Mercari. If I’m gonna do a sporty down jacket, it has to be in fun colors! (Green is also nice). I got it because a reader shared a cold weather layering tip: wear a thin down jacket underneath a big oversize wool coat to look stylish.

I can vouch for quality of Mont-bell jackets. My sibling held up their magenta REI brand down puffer and side-by-side, you can tell the Mont-bell one is a thicker fabric, the down “rolls” are puffier, and the zippers/velcro are more thoughtfully designed. I know we’re coming out of winter, but it’s a great secondhand outerwear brand to have in your back pocket for the future.

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Last but not least, check out these cashmere armwarmers my sibling upcycled from a shrunken tank top I gave them a few months ago. Don’t they look great? The tank top was cut along the side with sharp scissors, sewn to create a “sleeve” and the thumb holes are made by one precise scissor snip. No unraveling or fraying cause the cashmere was so finely knit and also shrunken/dense from washing.

Other things in the cold weather kit:

• Heat tech sets

• Cashmere/wool long socks

• Merino wool base layer from Dilling

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Final thought—I think we should treat our wardrobes more like libraries. Try to keep your clothes in wider circulation beyond just yourself. I guess that will be one of my goals for 2026. Beyond cold weather gear, this seems very useful for occasions like wedding guest outfits. If you’re a close friend reading this and you ever want to borrow a piece from my closet, just lmk!! <3

As always, I’d love to hear your stories/thoughts of sharing clothes as a form of intimacy in the comments.

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Molehill Miscellany

• I always look forward to new seasonal colors from Oddobody underwear. The periwinkle “fog” is pretty.

• Sirene in Oakland has a different lunch menu every day; I tried the soppressata sandwich yesterday and it was a perfect bite. Fluffy airy bread, generous swipe of pistachio pesto.

• My hair is getting long and it gets greasier faster. There’s just MORE hair for dirt and oil to cling onto. It’s an adjustment using 3 pumps of Hairstory new wash instead of 2 (and I only used ONE when I had a short bob) but these are the trade offs of long hair I guess! I also want to book a deep scalp cleaning soon.

• Anyone else watching Survivor Season 50? I read this Allure article about how “even the Survivor contestants are snatched now” wish I wrote it because it’s that good. But also, Jeff Probst should be a part of this conversation as the “face” of the show for decades.

• A reader sent me this update re: CBK-mania on eBay. I think Love Story is the biggest fashion-y TV show at the moment and we cannot escape it. Preparing myself for the aftershock of tomorrow’s episode.

xo viv

Thanks for being here. You can find me on IG and TT. My wardrobe pieces and recs are saved here—unless it’s vintage, of course ;) I may earn a small commission from purchases made through affiliate links.