how i picked out my engagement ring
10 designers and 17 rings I bookmarked during my search, & a ring I wish I saw earlier...
An annual subscription is on sale for $50 this week. I only run two sales a year, so if you’ve been thinking about upgrading, now’s the time!
Last month, I got engaged in Tuscany :)
While I wasn’t clued into the details of the proposal, I was aware that it was going to happen several months in advance. So earlier this year, knowing that it was on the horizon, I started thinking about a RING.
I’d venture to guess that most of you who are reading this have questioned the heteropatriarchal origins of marraige and all the traditions that surround it, especially if you are coupled. And, like me, you’ve probably thought about how you’d want create your own meaning—should you participate in these institutions and practices.
I felt like doing it “my way” started with the ring; I wanted every decision to feel like a conscious and personalized choice. Here were some considerations I had going into the search:
From the start, I knew I wanted to pick or design the ring myself. Everyone approaches this differently (see Reddit thread below lol). I didn’t want the ring design to be a surprise. In the past, I’ve gotten so much pleasure from working with a designer to get the specs and proportions justtttttt right, and so I knew I wanted to be very involved with the design process.
While this would be a ring for everyday wear, it isn’t realistic for me to wear it 24/7 and never take off. I swim in a chlorinated pool, and I have dyshidrotic eczema on my hands, which makes it painful to wear rings when I have a flare-up. I wanted a ring that would also look nice as a simple pendant looped through a chain.
I considered both colored gemstones and diamonds. I figured I’d cast a wide net and just see what spoke to me as time passed.
The ring research phase was pretty easy.
I’m a jewelry magpie is constantly poking around the internet for cool jewelry, so I already had a lists of designers whose work spoke to me. I have experience working on bespoke pieces with jewelers, so that route did not feel intimidating. And I know which ring design features I like (signets, bezel settings, thick bands) and dislike (ring mounts, visible prongs) for me. Emphasis on for me—it goes without saying the best ring is the one you love best.
The hard part was narrowing it down to just one at the end.
As you’ll see below, there were so many designs I loved, and it got increasingly difficult to winnow down my favorites from 10 to 5 to 3 to 1. In hindsight, I think I was also putting a lot of pressure on this ring being a literal crown jewel encapsulation of my personal style. I had to remind myself that while an engagement ring is a very special and cherished piece of jewelry, it is also part of a broader collection that spans the course of my life. This is the philosophy I’m trying to bring into all the bridal decisions…like, the ring and dress are a part of your identity and story, not your entire identity or story.
The ring I couldn’t stop thinking about—the one I could most clearly and consistently envision for everyday life—was a scalloped cigar band with playful princess-cut diamonds by Chicago-based designer Karmila Darling. Her work has been on my wishlist for a while. She makes jewelry that feels like enchanted lockets out of a folk fairytale. We worked on a custom ring based off her Sugar Band, with tweaks to the proportions. Karmila was great to work with—she sent me over 8 resin ring replicas to make sure every detail felt perfectly right before making the real thing.
Here are the 10 jewelry designers I considered in my search—and the 17 rings I saved as inspiration.
As mentioned, it was incredibly hard to narrow down my favorites!!! I love every single piece on this list. Also, research is never wasted! This is essentially a reference for future big milestone jewelry gifts.
Soft Good Studio
Emilie’s portfolio never ceases to make my jaw drop. I was very drawn to these two custom ring projects posted on her Instagram because of the auspicious cloud engravings around the band.
J.Hannah
Diptych Ring (Carnelian)—the twin red stones remind me the Chinese double happiness character. Also comes in a diamond version.
This quatrefoil diamond ring made it to my top 5. I think it would have been a touch too heavy for my hand, but I adore the quatrefoil shape.
Mondo Mondo
Ondine ring—one of the daintier options, I like the bezel setting and how it reminds me of a mirror.
This next ring only came on my radar last month, but had I seen it earlier…oof, I would have STRONGLY considered it.
Either way, it has sparked a burning flame of COVET and I cannot stop thinking about it…