venmo vixens and amuse bouche bitches
what's your potluck archetype?
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Hi! I hope you got to spend yesterday with loved ones and eat something scrumptious. My parents hosted Thanksgiving this year—they usually cook the Big Things and I bring a bonus dish (went with the peking duck from Great China). My sister and I are both on our laptops digesting in silence right now; she’s working on grad school apps in borrowed clothes from my closet, and I’m writing this newsletter in fully unbuttoned jeans.
Are you watching HBO’s “I Love LA?” Well, I’ll be going live on Substack this Sunday at 12pm PST/3pm EST with
to talk about the clout-chasing outfits, the LA vintage scene, why Tallulah is the anti-Jessa Jessa, and more! Tune in bc we know you’re gonna be bedrotting in your childhood bedroom.An annual subscription is on sale for $50 through the end of Sunday. It gets you access to all newsletters (mostly of which are partially paywalled), ability to start chat threads, and the secondhand sonar google doc. I rarely run sales, so if you’ve been thinking about going all-in on the Molehill for 2026…now’s the time!
For this newsletter, I wanted to riff on the concept of holiday outfit ideas, based on what your potluck archetype is.
Most us have been using potluck signup sheets lately for food-centered seasonal festivities, and I was curious about (1) what categories are most popular/get filled the fastest and (2) what does it say about you as a person?! That seemed like an anthropologically amusing jumping-off point to brainstorming holiday outfits.
Here are the poll results. Are you surprised? Are you not surprised??
I styled outfits based on each of these potluck archetypes, and threw in a bonus archetype based on a reader’s self-aware comment in the chat thread on this topic.
Amuse-bouche bitch
Main course martyr
Pumpkin pie princess
EANAB snob
Venmo vixen
Enjoy :)
The Amuse-Bouche Bitch [Appetizer/Side]
According to the poll results, 44% of you are amuse-bouche bitches! I get why this was the most popular answer.
Signing up for an appetizer or side is the most flexible category in terms of commitment/effort. If you’re feeling ambitious, you could make a 5-cheese mac and cheese or broiler roasted veggie with yogurt dip situation and exceed everyone’s expectations. If you forgot about the potluck and have 1 hour to throw something together, you could grab some olives and feta cheese from Trader Joe’s and no one would bat an eye because that’s a perfectly acceptable interpretation of the category.
So how does this translate into an outfit?
It’s about wearing a dependable, somewhat “boring” base—like a striped button down—and then working the sliding scale of zany accessories depending on your mood.
Like, this outfit would be just fine if it were only the button down, skirt and loafers. It’s the olives and cheese. But by piling on the knee socks, the brownie scout beret, the floral brooch, the quirked-up bag…suddenly it’s a fancy charcuterie board with preserved FIGS and smoked TROUT and MARCONA almonds.
The Main Course Martyr [Entree]
The main attraction of any potluck is the promise of a piping hot, nutritionally sound, soul-feeding meal. An excellent entree, such as short rib stew or a perfectly roasted whole chicken, can really make a potluck feel *gourmet.*
However, it is a lot of work.
It’s expensive, especially if you are buying 3+ lbs of animal protein for a group. It probably requires cooking with a stove, so not ideal unless you are hosting in your own home. For these reasons, it is understandably not the top category pick for most of us.
People who sign up to make an entree are the backbone of society. You’re probably a highly competent individual who is no stranger to carrying the entire group project. You know how to make a 10-step plan and execute it cleanly. Or maybe you’re just someone with high standards for food, and know that if you don’t supply the perfectly brined buttermilk chicken, no one else will.
So sartorially, this is a meat-and-potatoes kind of outfit. All the high-quality fabrics that make clothes worth wearing, like suede and cashmere. An iconic hero print, like vintage 1997 Prada. A centerpiece-worthy purse (woof).
Deep down, I think the main course martyr shows their love and care through food,