build your own paul mescal
so you want to get your masc a starter chain...a valentine's day gift guide, part II
Mornin! I’m sitting in bed working on this newsletter after an uninspiring dinner of ground chicken hard shell tacos and a Tylenol for period cramps. We have a week of rain in California, ranging from a swiss miss powder drizzle to an atmospheric river. Today was a drizzle, which is why I looked like this at the post office returning an 8 lb millet hull pillow. I’ve been wearing this wool hat a lot lately; the brim is just a hair away from bucket hat territory so my head feels like a chic punctuation mark.
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Today I am answering your questions about what to gift men/mascs for Valentine’s Day. It was probably the most-asked question! One respondent asked for ideas that weren’t the “typical whiskey rock shit in husband gift guides.”
The collective fatigue towards “men’s gift guides” stems from the way they tend to speak to a very narrow definition of white, cis, hetero masculinity. I hope this guide is genuinely helpful, and captures the reality of how diverse and fluid masculine expression is in 2025. (In making this guide, I realized that I would enjoy/wear 80% of what I recommended, like the raw denim jorts!!!).
Oh, and there is no Aesop hand soap in this guide. My goal is to suggest things you don’t already know about.
Part I of the Valentine’s Day Gift Guide came out last week, and the star of that list was the chipmunk Keens. Interesting!
Let’s get into the gifting dilemmas.
Cute affordable gift?
This $11.11 engraved carabiner from Lovers Never Die. Swoon <3
Clothing recs for a masc trying to expand/experiment with their style?
How about these Ella Mae Leo jorts? The color on this raw denim oozes quality, and the stitching sets it apart from a standard pair of jorts.
Even better though, take them on a thrifting date! Get pancakes and milkshakes at a old-school diner, hit up 2-3 local thrift stores, try things on, hype them up along their style experimentation journey.
Silver ring that comes in bigger sizes (10+)?
This silver “2 Cute 4 U” pinky ring from Salty Dagger goes up to a 12. I think this is so sweet for Valentine’s Day.
Splurge gift for husband who rarely treats himself to fancy things?
I would suggest a pair of high-quality sunglasses. The range of sartorial expression in menswear tends to be more limited than with womenswear, and a beautiful pair of frames is a great way for a guy to stand out in an otherwise inconspicuous outfit. This niche eyewear brand Paloceras caught my eye for its “inflated” Pebble frames—an intentionally unisex design—this artist/creative director pulls them off so well.
A beloved brand in the eyewear rec roundup from
was Cutler & Gross, so give that a browse as well.I want to get my boyfriend a simple chain, inspired by Connell in Normal People!
Hi user GracieAbrams98! First of all, it sounds like he might be new to chains? If so, I would subtly check that he has some genuine interest in wearing one. Proceed once you have the green light.
Start with a very simple sterling silver chain—99% of what makes a chain truly WORK on anyone is the confidence of the wearer. The cultural impact of Connell Waldron’s chain in Normal People can be attributed to Paul Mescal’s moving performance of sensitive masculinity, and the quiet confidence that Connell develops by the end of the series. Also, the understated chain matches Connell’s personality and the rest of his style, which is very simple/neutral/lived-in.
In other words, it is representative of his true spirit.
With that, I recommend this sterling silver starter chain (under $100) if you want to build your own Paul Mescal: