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Hello! My brain has been extra scattered this week preparing for a packed weekend of events > traveling to NYC tundra next week, so this newsletter will be short and self-explanatory.

Valentine’s Day means a lot of people have jewelry on the brain. I wrote about my top 25 brands/small designers last fall and still stand by those picks.

(At the time of publishing I included holiday sale info, so just know that bit is outdated).

Korean star wand lip gloss —$8

A makeup find from my Tokyo trip last year. It’s the cutest thing in my makeup bag, and a great trinket gift for a friend.

Little Beast Striped Onesie — $48

The best way to my heart is getting a present for my dog. In all seriousness, my small dog gets cold easily and these striped outfits are her favorite. Easy to put on and take off. Gets compliments from gleeful children.

Babydoll pink nail polish — $20

I’ve been wear-testing the Celisse nail set (gifted) since the holidays, and my conclusion is that the Babydoll polish is the hero product. Everything else is in the set is sort of bells and whistles; this is the one thing I would actually re-purchase. I like the specific shade of pink, how fast it dries, and how it has a slight “jelly” effect with three coats.

Oddobody undie and bra set —$28/$65

Written about these several times, they’re my favorite and comfiest undies.

A lace-trim v neck tank for your loungerie rotation —$55

I have it in white and black. FYI it runs large: I normally wear an S and prefer the more bodycon fit of an XS. For my fellow brown-nipped brethren, be advised the white color is sort of see-through, so I wear a bralette underneath.

My most worn underwire bra is the Araks Gita — $135-$195

It’s silk which feels really luxe, and they usually have a few colors on sale. I like the vibrancy of the colors because it looks more intentional when it’s peeking out of a low cut shirt/when you’re wearing an off the shoulder top.

Cou Cou scoop tank —$56

I appreciate that Cou Cou has stuck to what they are good at as the brand has grown, which is making pointelle cotton loungewear. They have a new strawberry milk pink color that is very enticing to me.

Weekender duffel bag — $198

I got 3 reader questions lately about weekender bag recs for their boyfriends/partners. Something you can stuff with 2-3 sets of clothes and toss in the trunk of the car for a long weekend trip. I like this green canvas one from Ralph Lauren because it’s something I would steal borrow.

Engraved carabiner — $11

This was the most popular item from last year’s valentine’s day gift guide for mascs.

Expect some meaty newsletters coming in the next two weeks!!!

xo viv

Thanks for being here. You can find me on IG and TT. My wardrobe pieces and recs are saved here—unless it’s vintage, of course ;) I may earn a commission from purchases made through affiliate links.

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When I saw Pantone’s recent announcement of their 2026 Color of the Year (COTY), “Cloud Dancer” aka white, I thought to myself girl whatever and scrolled past it.

I no longer expect anything interesting from the COTY franchise, especially after the fecal flop that was 2025’s Mocha Mousse. The last time I felt any emotional fanfare about COTY was in 2016. It was the year of Rose Quartz (aka Millennial Pink) and Serenity. It was also the year I graduated college, and arguably the last hurrah of the “millennial optimism” era Gen Z is obsessed with right now.

Because color theory is lesson #1 in the Molehill school of style, I present to you a gift guide of objects from a smattering of HEX codes. The list includes:

• Mostly accessories like jewelry and purses, because I find those to be the most gift-able

• Everything is under $100

• A mix of new + secondhand pieces

Let’s start with green!

Green

Old leather Baggu handbag in "Citron”—$50. I had a long conversation with a friend last month about how Baggu started to lose its way as a brand when the real leather products were discontinued. You can still buy them secondhand online though. This square handbag is a near exact match for the Molehill colors, and it would add bright zest to a wintery knit set or camel coat.

Sterling Silver Peridot Cigar Band Size 7.5—$60. Not my size but it would be mine if it were. I love peridot gems combined with a more masculine band shape.

Carolina Herrera Cashmere Short Sleeve—S, $84. Super specific gift, I know, but this would be for the t-shirt connoisseur in your life who loves Flore Flore or Nu Swim. The cut and knit drape looks promising.

Blue

Turquoise Ring from Carved Wood—Size 6.5, $19. Looks like a piece of artificial blue raspberry gum from the top. Great cocktail ring for the earth mama archetypes among us.

Bobby frames from Warby Parker—$95 (sponsored mention). I love how a cool blue frame gives my face a bit of “blue eyeshadow energy” without the sensory baggage of makeup powder. Also, I know that my little sister will ask to try these on when she visits home for Christmas.

Ok Eileen Fisher, you popped off with these cashmere silk blend armwarmers—$74. The saturation on this is just fantastic. I would be thrilled to receive these. Colorblocking a long sweater sleeve with an armwarmer is one of my tricks for dressing like a 90s Fruits Mag girl!

Purple

2025 was a big year for the Anna Sui revival. I’ve decided that the most quintessential Anna Sui thing a girl can wear is purple suede.

ETRO paisley suede handbag—$92. I believe I saw a Note from or at some point describing Etro as a sort of dark mode Pucci??…sorry if I’m making that up…but you get the gist. One of my big unanswered questions of 2025 is WHAT DO ETSY WITCHES WEAR? Let me know if you know. In the absence of firsthand reports, I’m going to assume they wear stuff like this.

Celine purple suede flat loafers— Size 6.5, $67. This should be worn by one of the vintage Marc Jacobs collectors who I know are reading this. Maybe styled with a yellow mac coat with toggles a la Paddington, a messenger bag, and gray legwarmers.

Zojirushi Thermos—$35. The platonic ideal of a water bottle, but *especially* in winter and *especially* if you’re traveling in a country where hot tea basically runs on tap. I already have the pink in the 20 oz size and reject the concept of collecting multiple colors of the same water bottle, but the plum colorway makes me feel soooo comforted and hearty.

This thermos also ranks high in the Asian Parent Gift Approval Matrix. It’s one of the rare “fancy” things they will begrudgingly accept and secretly enjoy.

Pink

YINA Ginseng Lip Treatment—$28 (also use code VIV15). This TCM-based skincare brand came on my radar last winter and I can’t rec this enough. It’s my version of a Katie Kitamura lip gloss. Super moisturizing for winter and I like the soft pink peeking out in my makeup bag. I brought this on my long haul flight and it was a SALVE.

This is a stock photo from Etsy but my point is that a bouquet of blushing pink peonies from your favorite local florist is such a lovely gift, especially for a hostess.

Moschino button embellishment heels—Size 37, $50. Enticing pair of party shoes, very Sofia Coppola…kinda want to see these with flare jeans and a Custo Barcelona graphic tee.

Red

East Fork Breakfast Bowl in Maraschino—$28. Glossy red glaze feels equally appropriate for winter oatmeal with nuts and dried berries or for summertime mango with a sprinkle of tajin.

Note 11:48pm: I think this form is no longer available, but Maraschino plates here.

Le Bon Shoppe Cashmere Wool Armwarmers—$52. Another pair of armwarmers, you ask? Yes. These have a puffier, thicker look than the Eileen Fisher ones, and a more articulated thumb hole. They also don’t extend as high up the wrist. Crucial styling differences! Get this for a friend who bought her first pair of red socks to wear with loafers and made it her personality for a month.

Orange

Sterling Silver Orange Crate Charm—$30 OBO. For that friend who is always peeling a tangerine this time of year…you know exactly who I’m talking about.

People really love the Toyo toolbox—I like the size, but I’m personally in the market for a desk drawer thing that doesn’t look so utilitarian. However, I did buy one of these mini Toyo steel boxes ($34) in this shade of duck bill orange from a boutique in SF.

It doesn’t scream TOOLS INSIDE. I actually use it to store jewelry right now. Also, Toyo’s motto is “dreams will not rust” which is poetic AF…

Yellow

Brightland Parasol champagne vinegar—$24 (link gets you 15% off). This tastes a bit sweeter/more mellow than your standard champagne vin. I use it for my everyday home salad vinaigrette base, which consists of: microplaned raw garlic, minced shallot, salt, pepper, evoo, lemon juice, and a dash of this stuff. Depending on what’s in the fridge, I will also add finely chopped chives. Dreaming of making a raddichio and cara cara salad now…

I have an Elsa Peretti silver bean money clip and it makes me feel soooo adult. Just the feeling of a small stack of monies held together by a weighty, design-y piece of metal gives me a twinge of purse feng shui euphoria.

Lately I’ve been bookmarking vintage money clips with cabochon gems on them. This lemon drop sterling silver clip ($45) is the standout so far.

That’s all for now. Also please do link your favorite gift guides in the comments as I’m seeking ideas too :)

Coming soon for paid readers: a series of stories on the delight and delirium of marathon shopping in Japan.

I went goblin mode on stationary, makeup, vintage, specialty foods…and lived to tell the tale. Take out a paid subscription today if you don’t wanna miss out!

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xo viv

Thanks for being here. You can find me on IG and TT. My wardrobe pieces and recs are saved here—unless it’s vintage, of course ;) I may earn a small commission from purchases made through affiliate links.

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Hello! Hope you are having a cozy weekend. We hosted a potluck, so my kitchen is full of party snacks (hot cheetos aka my metaphysical cigarettes) and hearty leftovers (chicken pot pie and kabocha rigatoni). I loved hearing about what readers are cooking for potluck season…bookmarking the persimmon custard tart recipe! (Why am I using so many exclamation marks today…idk!).

Of all gift categories, jewelry is my absolute favorite to give and receive. Some context:

• My siblings have pierced ears and I do not. So for many birthdays and holidays over the years, I’ve gifted them earrings to vicariously live through. They usually react with genuine glee because I know their tastes really well (I’m the big sister, I INVENTED their tastes!!! jk but not really hehe). They will probably get earrings from me this year…

• I have to live my truth and say that the horseshoe theory applies to my gift-receiving preferences. Either get me something brutally practical like a chef’s quality squash peeler, or something freakishly fanciful like a jade egg necklace. I want to rip the gift wrap open, see the velvet jewelry box, grab your arm and shriek “stoppppppppp!!!! you didn’ttttt!!!”

• The last reason why I’m fixated on jewelry lately is because prices are going up next year due to supply costs. I’ve spoken to many friends in the jewelry biz, and everyone is stressed about how the skyrocketing price of gold and silver will impact their businesses.

Here are 25 cool jewelry brands that are top of mind for me right now, and my favorite pieces from each.

Most are brands I have only recently discovered—definitely not an exhaustive list! Use the search term “jewelry” to find coverage on other brands in the Molehill archive.

Loren Stewart

*Up to 30% off depending on order amount, discount updates automatically in cart.

The website has so much stuff I like…this is the kind of browsing I get truly lost in. I’m 90% ready to check out on the Silver Vintage Clip Chain ($250) because I’ve been searching for the right chunky-ish chain for my Danica Stamenic egg-shaped pendant, and it will look amazing hanging off the modular clip.

Speaking of egg shapes, this Ovo on cord ($80) is what the infamous Goop jade egg should have been. Imagine it resting on a pale pink silk button-down and matching swishy pants.

I am also salivating over this Peridot Mini Gem Signet ($565). It inspired me to search for similar secondhand vintage styles, but so far I’m not seeing anything comparable at the same price or lower.

Other pieces I love: smoothed out silver padlock pendant ($150), the crystal orb ring ($360), the turquoise orb pendant ($305), and the XL disc pendant ($225).

Feral Rabbitt

Simple, sweet designs that feel like handpoke tattoos in metal form. Made by local Oakland-based jeweler, Peyton Rabbitt (some people just have the coolest names, right?) The silver scallop band ($160) would look pretty stacked on top of a silver band.

Pacto Joyas

Silver jewelry made in Chile. Their rings are what really caught my eye—the forms feel aural and vibey. They also use 980 silver as opposed to the standard 925 silver.

I’m trying to order the Pauta ring ($80 +$30ish shipping to USA) which I am told is possible but the payment form is a little glitchy for international customers. They told me through email I could check out by sending payment to their PayPal account, so I’ll keep you updated on whether that works.

Sandy Liang

I think we have arrived at a collective understanding that people don’t buy Sandy Liang jewelry because they’re looking for craftsmanship. They buy it because the designs are freaking cute as hell, which is valid. That said, I know the brand would reallyyyy expand their customer base if they started using solid sterling silver.

SL pulls off another “too cute to fail” move with these newly released fava earrings ($128). The bean gets the bow treatment! As a proud member of the leguminati, I would 100% wear these if I had pierced ears.

Chan Luu

Another example of fashion jewelry leaning into legume forms. This is the peapod necklace with pearls as peas ($175). Wear it with a long knit dress for your work holiday party, you’ll probably get compliments on it from the most random unexpected people like Tabitha from Accounting.

Lobeta

*sponsored mention

A new kid on the block silver jewelry brand designed in New York and made in Seoul. Founder Daisy Pyo is the brand’s best model, showing how the pieces complement her voluminous layered skirts and gorp-y footwear. The product lineup is focused on minimal pieces with an edge, like the San Elongated Signet Ring ($249). I love a ring that feels weighty and solid.

Laura Lombardi

*30% off core collection through 12/1.

I have a Laura Lombardi chunky chain. I do not wear it every day. The way I see it, she designs fun “chains with a twist” (mostly made of gold-plated brass) that add intrigue and layered depth to your everyday pieces. My pick would be the Riccio Chain ($115) with the little pretzel-y knots.

Wolf Circus

*25% off sitewide

This Canadian brand has been around for years—I discovered them through Garmentory a longgg time ago and still check their new collections every now and then. I have this bunny charm ($56), their ring selection is quite well-priced for what it is.

Kara Yoo

*sponsored mention.

I’ve enjoyed seeing Kara Yoo grow as a brand over the years—she has nailed a design POV that taps into the spirited yet elegant expression many women want right now. It’s the perfect amount of trendy, and that’s really hard to get right. My pick would be the Sasha earrings ($150) that come in a gourd-like Russian doll shape and colorful gemstone pairings!

Danica Stamenic

I credit Danica for being the jewelry designer-curator who made me fall in love with silver. Her website is one of the few places where you can shop coveted drops from Casa Spratling, the studio carrying on the legacy of Taxco silversmithing.

All her pieces are extremely solid. My silver mirror signet ($275) weighs a hefty 13 grams. So luxurious.

Pamela Love

*30% off

Another sale I got lost in…brimming with magpie bait. Jewelry inspired by Greek mythology motifs, like pomegranates and amphoras. The Ruby Hera pendant ($245) is stunning. Rubies as arils is genius.

The lines of the anemone earrings ($220) are perfect for an updo hairstyle with two tendrils untucked and a long cream silk dress…

For their simpler pieces, $50 for a sterling silver box chain is a hard deal to beat. The green jade designs are worth a look as well.

J. Hannah

My first “big girl” jewelry purchase was at a J.Hannah sample sale in an LA Arts Distract warehouse space in 2018. I walked in wearing a Shaina Mote dress and a blue ribboned Clyde hat and thought I was hot shit. I left with a silver ring with a puffy aquamarine on top, and I still wear it all the time.

My pick is the Candy Girl charm ($240) which truly looks like photorealistic crinkly candy wrapper…wow.

Also can’t stop thinking about the quatrefoil signet (starts at $740). The brushed finish, the shape—swoon.

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My phone addiction has been bad lately.

Winter seasonal depression always makes me doomscroll more than usual. I’m fully aware that it’s an unhealthy habit, but it’s so. hard. to. stop. I’ve been wondering what it would take for me to undergo a sustained and radical behavioral change. My college thesis seminar was in Behavioral Economics, and every paper was basically an experiment on whether the sample population responded better to carrots or sticks. I’ve always thought a carrot was a poor example of a treat. Maybe it’s motivating for a horse, but couldn’t we come up with something more titillating for humans? A Pocky stick, perhaps!

In an attempt to lure my brain towards healthier interests, I bought a 120 pack of colored pencils. The idea spontaneously came to me one morning over breakfast. I chewed my buttered toast as I checked out my shopping cart. When it said Order Confirmed!, I took a celebratory chomp of burnt crust.

I’m not sure why it felt like such a definitive decision in that moment—but it was more thrilling to receive in the mail than any kind of clothing item. Clothes are for wearing, and that’s plenty fun, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I put on a great outfit and think: now what?

I’ve been trying to have drawing time every day. Usually, it’s during that depressing window between 4-6pm, when the sky gets dark before “business hours” end and you don’t know what to do with your sense of impending doom. I lay out my tin of colored pencils on the dining table with a sketchbook, and just start sketching and scribbling away. Sometimes I will draw my clothes and accessories. They usually look a little fucked up, and not even in a cool conceptual art way, because you can tell that I was aiming for some level of photorealism and missed the mark.

But as the kids are saying on Tiktok these days: girl, whatever.

It’s simple fun. I feel proud when a drawing turns out the way I wanted it to. I’m treating my eyes to real colors and textures on the page, as opposed to the 2D technicolor prison of my phone screen.

So, maybe my animal brain is carrot-wired after all. But one carrot isn’t enough—I need 120 carrots, in the entire color of the rainbow.

Below, a considered selection of 8 gift ideas for the analog soul. Most are under $50.

All illustrations by me ;)

1. A Tin Box of 36 Colored Pencils ($38)

If you want to get into drawing, colored pencils are one of the most accessible mediums to start with. It’s not as messy as painting (no liquids involved!), and super portable to bring to cafes and such. The tin container is part of the appeal. It’s so…compact and smooth. I’m recommending Prismacolor as an entry-level brand because I used to draw with them in high school. The quality is decent but not creme de la creme or anything. It’s all you need as a casual hobbyist. If you want something fancier to pursue drawing more earnestly, go with a 60 pack of Faber-Castell Polychromos pencils (the brand I use right now).

2. Goodnight Moon Writing Kit ($28)

The stamp release that had us in a chokehold all summer! One day it’ll be discontinued, because good things don’t last forever, and we will all be wishing we stocked up while we had the chance. This writing kit is very gift-able because it has envelopes and a Green Room themed folder. I.e. It feels more substantial than just a loose page of stamps.

3. A Stylish 1000 Piece Puzzle ($36)

During covid quarantine, I spent my days doing puzzles and watching old seasons of Survivor. Pieceworks makes stylish puzzles that look good on your coffee table. I also like that it’s 1000 pieces. Idk, anything less and it feels like I’m not getting my money’s worth of cognitive challenge!! Hosting tip: leave a puzzle in progress on a table, people often like doing something with their hands while they chit chat.

4. Film Rolls ($32)

If your gift recipient has a film camera and dabbles in photography, buy them some rolls of film! It’s one of those pesky expensive things that isn’t very fun to buy for yourself, but SOOO nice to receive. Can’t go wrong with some classic Kodak Gold.

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• Thanks to everyone who upgraded to a paid subscription last week. We were able to donate $420 worth of food to the Berkeley Food Pantry.

• Marché Holiday Market is this Saturday at the Oakland Bridge Yard. Hope to run into some of you! My game plan is to try on the Starling 14K gemstone signet rings, browse Ciao Lucia for holiday dresses and Freda Salvador for loafers, and say hi to Emma Rothkopf who makes some of my most-worn fall knits.

Today we’re kicking off gift shopping season with a comprehensive guide to the most beloved small/indie shops in the Bay Area.

It’s a crowdsourced list with your recs, many of which overlap with my personal favorites. (I’m not sure if it’s surprising or not that the Baggu store did not come up once…what does it mean??).

I wanted the guide to be useful and beautiful to look at, hence the hand-drawn illustrations by moi!

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East Bay

*I tried my best to add the general neighborhood in the parentheses but I’m not familiar with every square block of the region so don’t drag me if something is “actually in Potrero, not Mission.” You have permission to drag me if I’m two zip codes off though.

Twotwo (Lakeshore)—This concept store/gallery is the epitome of Oakland avant-garde cool girl vibes. It was also the most frequently mentioned rec. Lots of indie fashion brands and niche perfumes. I met the owner, CC, last year at a fashion panel event, and she wore Noir Kei Niyomiya…impeccable taste, to say the least.

ReLove (Lakeshore)—Secondhand store with curated designer clothes. Where I got my green cashmere polo.

3319 Marché (Lakeshore)—Vintage and designer shop. They offer custom chainstitch embroidery done by Bria, a Molehill reader, which makes a great personalized gift or experience.

_cmdstudios—Local ceramic artist with vases and stoneware.

Spectator Books (Piedmont Avenue)—Indie bookstore with cute cards and stickers.

Soft Good Studio—Local jeweler Emilie Jehng makes pieces inspired by her Asian-American identity, like silver soup spoons and surname characters signets. She made my jade jellybean ring.

Oakland Puzzle (Eastlake)—Community-centered jigsaw puzzle makers. This puzzle called “Your Mom is so Berkeley” made me chuckle.

Aster Jewelers (Montclair)—A treasure trove for indie jewelry brands founded by an Oakland native. This was recommended by Danica Stamenic, so I know it’s good.

Ordinaire Wine (Lakeshore)—The beating heart of Oakland’s natural wine scene, with an excellent bottle shop.

Pala Ceramics—Berkeley-based ceramicist with pop-ups at places like West Coast Craft Fair.

Of All Places (Solano Ave)—Cutest place to buy your chicest food items. Owners are a super sweet and warm couple :)

Morningtide (Off Solano Ave)—Ceramics, gifts, and clothing (new + secondhand). Always hosting local food pop-ups, the shaved ice one is good.

Standard & Strange (Fourth Street)—Store with high-quality specialty garments mostly sourced from Japan, Europe and the USA. I have some jeans from W’Menswear and they are incredibly well-made.

Umami Mart (Oakland Broadway)—Bar and shop with sake and other Japanese goods. My friends introduced me to Tsure Ume and it’s one of the few alcohols I’ll have multiple cups of.

Maple Street Denim (Piedmont Ave)—Shop specializing in quality denim inspired by rock n roll and vintage Americana.

Moments Co-op (Downtown Oakland)—QTBIPOC bookstore and community space.

Womb House Books (Temescal)—Feminist bookshop selling new and vintage books.

Pretty Penny Clothing (Elmwood)—Vintage clothing from various decades, owned by Sarah who is the definition of a punk Gen Xer <3 Also carries vintage jewelry curated my friend Cecilia who runs Studio Second Sight.

Casa De Chocolates (Elmwood)—Magical shop carrying on Mesoamerican chocolate traditions with creative flavor pairings. The alcohol-infused bon bons are a hit with my family every Christmas. I love the tequila butterfly!!!

Amphora Nueva (Elmwood)—Infused olive oils and vinegars. Think Brightland but local and with more creative flavors like chimichurri and aged cara cara orange. It’s fun going with a friend and tasting samples until your stomach hurts.

Berkeley Potters Guild (West Berkeley)—Local ceramicist collective, open every Saturday. I’ve always been meaning to go but never have.

Tinsel Trading (San Pablo in Berkeley)—Whimsical store with ribbons, buttons and doodads…a magpie’s dream.

Cotton Basics (Elmwood)—Simple natural fiber basics for your wardrobe.

Market Hall (Rockridge)—Specialty foods emporium. My mom loves their Mariage Freres teas. Bougie cheeses that will impress at a party.

Oaktown Spice Shop (Multiple Locations in SF and East Bay)—High-quality small batch spices. You might run into Samin Nosrat here.

Preserved (Rockridge)—Fermentation specialty store. I like their ume and shiso syrups for mixing with sparkling water at parties (#equallyattractivenonalcoholicbev).

San Francisco

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I woke up early today (against my will) because the sound of the falling rain was loud. Not in a soothing way, as a dusky summer downpour in Mexico City feels, but in a jeering way that makes you dread the sloshy trip to Berkeley Bowl later where you will need to “excuse me” your way through the congested deli/sourdough aisle of indecisive looky loos and a single bead of grimy rainwater will shake off a stranger’s Arc’teryx jacket and land on your upper lip like a crystalline mole and oh my GOD…

But for now, I am sitting under a blanket trying to enjoy my Northern Californian comforts: piping hot water in a morel speckle Heath mug and this view from my window. Later, I’ll take care of myself by doing the dreaded grocery trip to get stuff for meatballs and maybe garlic bread…

Today’s newsletter is about how to make the perfect care package—perhaps for a long-distance Valentine, but also for anyone, at any time.

First of all, I don’t believe in buying pre-made care packages. I think they are a rip-off! $80 and you don’t even get to pick exactly what goes inside? Call me a quality control freak, but I want to pick what goes inside, pack it myself, and buy postage with a tracking number. Precious cargo and all.

This is the final issue of my Valentine’s Day “gift-y” newsletters, seeing as we have one week until Love Day. In case you missed it, previous issues here:

• Part 1 is frothy and feminine: Lockets and Silk Lingerie

• Part 2 is geared for the mascs: Chains and Jorts

Next week we’ll be talking OUTFITS. First date outfits, solo date outfits, “Valentine’s” outfits that you can wear year-round.

I am also raffling off a care package to a paid reader!

It includes: purple Le Bon Shoppe socks, cotton gingham Sezane socks, Olyra breakfast biscuit samples, a sterling silver pea pod brooch (from the Beatrix Potter jewelry edit, still a few pieces left) and a copy of newly-released Syme’s Letter Writer (interview with the wonderful Rachel Syme here).

To enter the raffle, just leave a comment with your favorite care package memory :)

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FTC disclosure: List includes partial sponsored mentions and some affiliate links.

Step 1: Make a Personalized DIY Card

The card is the most important and memorable part of the care package. I think you will have the most fun DIY-ing it. This can mean making a paper valentine from red cardstock paper and stickers, or designing a card like I did here.

This took me 15 minutes in Canva (admittedly I have done graphic design for work so do not fret if it takes you longer) and I think it’s the cutest card ever because it has my dog on it. There are so many templates to start from if you’re not confident in designing from scratch. I like to order cards through Canva print services because it’s easy but you can also go to a Kinko’s and use their printers.

(I have a B&W white printer at home but have been interested in upgrading because of the whole analog-medium-as-political-resistance mindset right now).

Step 2: Pack Snacks that Nourish and Delight

Whenever my mom would send me care packages in college, the snacks were the BEST part because I hated spending my college meal plan “flex” dollars on overpriced Luna bars lol (I lived on campus and did not cook for myself). But I know I had it good because I was in Southern California and there was always avocado and good citrus at the dining hall.

The best snacks you can send are seasonal produce or homemade shelf-stable goods like jams or syrups—stuff you can’t just buy anywhere. That said, these are my current favorite snacks/consumables you can buy at most stores or order online. Some are nourishing (tuna for the protein queens) and some are delightful (cockles + potato chips).

• Olyra Breakfast Biscuits—I’ve tried most of their biscuits, if you enjoy Milanos their dark chocolate flavor is like a more toothsome, grain-loaded version of the classic cookie. My partner likes the strawberry ones which are more moist, like a Fig Newton.

• Tonnino’s Tuna Fillets—the tastiest tuna for salads or sandwiches, my mom got me into these when I was first learning to feed myself as a working adult. Also an easy depression meal. You can get these at most grocery stores but the best value is buying on Vitacost with the 20% new order discount.

• Cockles in Brine—to me, this is the most luxurious snack paired with fancy potato chips (see next line). The Jose Gourmet ones are good but kinda prohibitively expensive…my strategy is just getting whatever is under $20 on the Caputo’s online store.

• Torres Potato Chips—a thin, crisp, perfectly salted chip. Ughhh. I love the Black Truffle flavor, but hate the Iberican Ham flavor FYI.

• Masala Gossip Green Chile Crisp—I love Indian food, especially in winter, but am not well-versed in cooking it myself. This green chile masala crisp pairs very well over toasted Trader Joe’s garlic naan.

• HU Hazelnut Butter Chocolate—tried this on a whim last winter while Christmas gift shopping and it’s my favorite chocolate bar now because of the hazelnut + chocolate flavor combo.

Step 3: Top it off with Frivolous Things

This is where you include the magical little touches that you know your recipient will squeal over.

• A tuft of pet fur (I always include a clipping of my poodle’s fur in packages sent to my sister)

• An elegant hairpin

• Monchichi stickers from Etsy

• Kodak Gold film if they have a camera but don’t use it as often as they want to

• Do you have favorite pics together living on your phone? Get them printed

• An annotated copy of a book you just read

• A hand-drawn portrait (or commission one from my friend and LA-based artist Alexandra Yvette)

• Striped toothbrushes

This concludes today’s care package guide. I hope this gave you inspiration for what to send your long-distance Valentine <3

xoxo viv

P.S. The secondhand sonar google doc has been updated with 24 pieces that are 80s/90s officewear inspired.

Basically, dressy stuff you can wear to work.

vivthemole

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This came about because I’m in love with this satin puff sleeve cropped jacket from Destree (they kindly dressed me for an event, the top + pants would be sweet for a courthouse wedding!), and it sent me down an online vintage hunt for more ladylike but not overly dated jackets and blouses. Kind of like what Chelsea Mak and Home of Hai make, but vintage and a fraction of the price…

From there, I took some detours into lightweight gauzy cashmere shell tops and even found 3 pairs of those sold-out Auralee hard twist denim pants—the dark wash and crisp leg is very appropriate for most modern offices.

You’ll find:

• sizes XS-3X

• 100% silk blouses, primarily natural fibers

• everything is under $200, with lots of things under $50

• vintage Dior, Anne Klein, and Agnes B

Sneak peek of what you can expect:

You can shop all 24 pieces here:

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FTC disclosure: List above the paywall includes partial sponsored mentions and some affiliate links.

Today I am answering your questions about what to gift men/mascs for Valentine’s Day. It was probably the most-asked question! One respondent asked for ideas that weren’t the “typical whiskey rock shit in husband gift guides.”

The collective fatigue towards “men’s gift guides” stems from the way they tend to speak to a very narrow definition of white, cis, hetero masculinity. I hope this guide is genuinely helpful, and captures the reality of how diverse and fluid masculine expression is in 2025. (In making this guide, I realized that I would enjoy/wear 80% of what I recommended, like the raw denim jorts!!!).

Oh, and there is no Aesop hand soap in this guide. My goal is to suggest things you don’t already know about.

Part I of the Valentine’s Day Gift Guide came out last week, and the star of that list was the chipmunk Keens. Interesting!

Let’s get into the gifting dilemmas.

Cute affordable gift?

This $11.11 engraved carabiner from Lovers Never Die. Swoon <3

Clothing recs for a masc trying to expand/experiment with their style?

How about these Ella Mae Leo jorts? The color on this raw denim oozes quality, and the stitching sets it apart from a standard pair of jorts.

Even better though, take them on a thrifting date! Get pancakes and milkshakes at a old-school diner, hit up 2-3 local thrift stores, try things on, hype them up along their style experimentation journey.

Silver ring that comes in bigger sizes (10+)?

This silver “2 Cute 4 U” pinky ring from Salty Dagger goes up to a 12. I think this is so sweet for Valentine’s Day.

Splurge gift for husband who rarely treats himself to fancy things?

I would suggest a pair of high-quality sunglasses. The range of sartorial expression in menswear tends to be more limited than with womenswear, and a beautiful pair of frames is a great way for a guy to stand out in an otherwise inconspicuous outfit. This niche eyewear brand Paloceras caught my eye for its “inflated” Pebble frames—an intentionally unisex design—this artist/creative director pulls them off so well.

A beloved brand in the eyewear rec roundup from was Cutler & Gross, so give that a browse as well.

I want to get my boyfriend a simple chain, inspired by Connell in Normal People!

Hi user GracieAbrams98! First of all, it sounds like he might be new to chains? If so, I would subtly check that he has some genuine interest in wearing one. Proceed once you have the green light.

Start with a very simple sterling silver chain—99% of what makes a chain truly WORK on anyone is the confidence of the wearer. The cultural impact of Connell Waldron’s chain in Normal People can be attributed to Paul Mescal’s moving performance of sensitive masculinity, and the quiet confidence that Connell develops by the end of the series. Also, the understated chain matches Connell’s personality and the rest of his style, which is very simple/neutral/lived-in.

In other words, it is representative of his true spirit.

With that, I recommend this sterling silver starter chain (under $100) if you want to build your own Paul Mescal:

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Yes, I know it is a commercially made-up holiday (if we’re being real, so is the Superbowl lol). You are allowed to get excited about it, and anyone who comes at you with a haughty remark about “Hallmark holidays” can shove a thorned rose stem up their—

Anyways. To me, it is an exemplar of what a fun holiday should be. Which is to say, it should have an beautiful aesthetic, a distinct theme, and a set of activities you can interpret and riff on to make your own.

Valentine’s Day has all of those. It has the most fanciful, saccharine aesthetic—hearts! cursive! blushing flowers! chocolate boxes with doily wrappers!

I want you to have a great Valentine’s Day.

Over the next week, we’ll be covering reader-submitted questions: from what to gift to what to wear on a first date.

What to gift someone who doesn’t like or wear jewelry?

Le Bon Shoppe Mercerized Cotton Socks ($14)—my favorite all-purpose sock, they get guaranteed wear. Pairing sock and shoe colors are a bit of an art. I like doing a pink sock with brown, red or white colored shoes.

Ancient Greek Jelly Sandals in Pink ($102)—an SSENSE sale deep cut. I like that these are a more classic 90s jelly vs. The Row jellies.

D’annam “Memories of Japan” Discovery Set ($59)—as a longtime fan of this Asian fragrance house, I had to try their new fragrance collection. To no one’s surprise, Strawberry Mochi and Matcha Soft Serve are the gourmand darlings everyone is gushing over. I didn’t like the Matcha Soft Serve, I thought the Strawberry Mochi was very photorealistic but didn’t light a fire in my heart…but I LOVEDDDD Arashiyama, a bamboo scent. Somehow it smells like a Hollister store in the 2000s, but grown-up and sophisticated.

Bunny Mirror ($20)—I picked this mirror up in the Catbird Fillmore Street store, it’s just as whimsical as it looks! It’s a perfect silly Galentine’s gift.

Soft & Wet Silk Red Bralette ($77)—it’s hard to find 100% silk lingerie that’s comfortable, under $100, and well-designed. I have had the green version of this for a few years, and it’s my favorite bralette to wear under a silk slip dress. It is elasticated, so mine has gotten a bit stretched from wearing so much, but I still reach for it all the time. I recognize the design is more conducive for small bust fits.

Ceramic Apple Candleholder ($35-$50)—hear me out: gift this with a card that says “you are the apple of my eye.” Handmade, small-batch ceramics by junes.jams on IG. There will be ~10 pieces listed by V-day, but DM to order is best!

Calomel Cotton Ribbed Shorts ($34 with V-Day Sale)—I’ve recently started taking dance classes and discovered the joy of a cheeky short that you can layer under warmup sweats. Calomel is a blue-chip basics brand for me; I bulk-ordered a bunch of their cotton brief undies two years ago and they’re still the perfect balance of compressive and comfortable.

Clyde Iona Hat ($80)—drizzly days ahead this spring…wear this when you don’t need a full umbrella or raincoat. Wear it with big sunglasses and a polka dot dress. Wear it with tiny sunglasses and baggy striped overalls.

“Chipmunk” colorway Keen Jaspers ($130)—you guys know by now the Keen Jaspers are my default sneaker. I personally find them very comfortable for walking and traveling. This new chipmunk colorway feels more high-fashion aware (I am sure the inspo was the perpetually sold out miu miu x new balances). Prepare to see a lot of “russet” and “cinnamon” sneakers from high street/mid market brands. They will also look devastatingly cute with these fawn print socks.

What are some cool, niche jewelry brands to know?

• Options under $100

• Options for engraved initials and personalization

Note: the jewelry/gift guide for mascs specifically is coming early next week. That was a very popular question so I am dedicating a separate letter to it.

FYI I wear both solid gold and gold-plated pieces. I’m not a solid gold purist who thinks gold-plated is “bad” or a “waste of money”—jewelry is personal so wear what works for you. What I do have a gripe with is up-charging. I don’t like when gold-plated pieces are priced as though it’s solid gold. So that’s my philosophy.

Yeah It’s Jewelry 14K Gold Heart Charm ($95)—I’ve written about my jewelry building blocks from Chloe Weitman’s LA-based jewelry brand for the “sentimental maximalist.” This is solid gold with just the right amount of “puff” in the heart. Highly gift-able because it’s easy to add onto any charm jumble for a sweet touch.

Casa Allyón Glass Ring ($127)—if Elsa Peretti were still alive, I think she would wear this ring. Allyón a new-to-me small jewelry brand based in AUS. I have this ring and it’s very eggy and round, looks great with long drapey layers.

Wolf Circus Bunny Charm ($68)—if you didn’t find your perfect bunny in the Beatrix Potter jewelry edit, consider this one.

“You and I Are Earth” Silver Plate Necklace ($195)—based on that famous plate found in a London sewer in the 1600s…save this one for a soulmate.

CLED Hangul letter pendant ($50, code VIV for discount)—English alphabet initial pendants are an easy google search away, but if you are Korean you might appreciate these icy glass Hangul letters!

Catbird 14K Gold Engraveable Locket ($198)—this is the most streamlined, straightforward way to get a solid gold locket engraved and shipped in time.

This next brand is my favorite for getting gold-plated pendants and chains under $100:

It used to be called Alix Yang Studio, and I purchased a simple gold-plated sunburst pendant from them during the pandemic that still has a slot in my jewelry box. They recently rebranded to Reh Studios. These are my favorites:

Gold-Plated Carnelian Heart Necklace ($71)—a sort of medieval aesthetic on a classic concept.

Ruby Ring ($76)—looks like something Mondo Mondo would make for 3x the price.

Gold-Plated Mariner Chain ($44)—if you want to play with thicker, bolder chains, start with this one. The Mariner links layer well with whatever basic starter gold chain you might have. Their chains in general are worth a browse if you are experimenting with rolo/thicker open-link designs.

July Rose Little Lamb Pendant (starts at $115)—small biz jewelry designer based out of LA making sweet mementos.

Sterling Silver Strawberry Sonny Angel Pendant ($185)—enough said…

Ora-C Cardamine Ring ($184)—I like the shape and delicateness of the petals.

Loren Stewart Hair Pin ($275)—I’ve had this bookmarked for months and can’t stop looking for a vintage version…harder to find than one might think.

Pamela Love Pomegranate Pendant ($290)—love is peeling a pomegranate.

Hernán Herdez Lazuli Signet ($255)—I’ve been keeping tabs on this NYC-based designer and am especially fond of the lapis lazuli creations.

If you’ve already nailed down your Valentine’s Day gift this year (to give or receive), I would love to start a bank of ideas in the comments :)

xoxo viv

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As an Asian on the internet who loves holiday gift giving, I was tempted to write a culturally-specific gift guide.

It would be less about helpful gift recommendations (that would be this post), and more about shared connection over experiences, like destroying a box of Ferrero Rocher nuggets with your siblings or drinking leung cha after a rich meal to cancel out the yeet hay.

So I started drafting a Chinese grandma gift guide. I mocked up a Canva collage of dark purple floral print jackets and dried hokkaido scallops.

But then I started spiraling.

Was I perpetuating cultural essentialism? I think I have a good pulse on what the Chinese grandmas I grew up around enjoy, but I can’t speak for the millions of Chinese grandmas out there. I sat on this for a week, wondering if I was falling into the identity typification trap. I stared at my Canva collage: was this any better than the boba lib gift guides recommending Sundae School Broccoli fleeces alongside discounted Simu Liu Cameos? Hm. But then again, starter pack gift guides can just be really funny—and isn’t that enough? Surely there are Asian Literary It Girls out there who would lol at a Helvetica “Four Names” baby tee that says Jia & Hua & R.F. & Min Jin.

Maybe I was overthinking it. White people don’t worry about their gift guides being implicitly white.

Ultimately I decided on a straightforward approach: ask a bunch of Asians I know about their gift picks and put them in conversation with one another—chaotic group chat style. This isn’t really about the gifts. It’s about the vibes and the humor in how vastly different our tastes are. You’ll find recs for $4 MSG and $250 yak wool scarves.

Mostly, it’s just a good time and that is enough.

So, gather ‘round the Lazy Susan and meet the group chat:

• Jacky Tran—Artist & Comedian

• —Film Critic & Food Writer

• Rosa Pyo—Writer & Miffy Historian

• Isabelle Moser—Perfumer

• —Co-founder of 3sixteen

• —Filmmaker & Author

• Christine Mai Nguyen—Ceramicist & Youtuber

• —Journalist & Editor

• —Beauty Writer (hosting a Smell Swap on 12/14 with and Tynan Sinks)

• Abi Balingit—Cookbook Author & Baker

*Note: responses have been slightly edited for a conversational effect, and I use some affiliate links below.

Viv: Jacky!!! Let me start by sharing our lore…our friendship started because we were the biggest yappers in that class “Asian American History: 1850-Present.” Since you’re the only person here who knows what I looked like before I had bangs, why don’t you kick us off with the gift ideas :)

Jacky: Yes! I’m down! So my first rec is Ac’cent Flavor Enhancer for your culinarily unadventurous friend. Do you know Logan the TikTok Cucumber Guy?

Viv: I think so. The Troye Sivan dupe looking kid who grates the whole cuke into the plastic quart thing?

Jacky: Yeah. So he normalized MSG. “MSG, obviously,” reached the masses in a way that a well-funded social media account and #CancelPizza ad campaigns couldn’t. Sure, we can get into identity politics and the fact that it needed to be a conventionally attractive white dude to get people to listen, but we could go even further and actually bring MSG to the masses.

In a conventional grocery store, you won’t find bags of Ajinomoto or the chicken bullion powder (no herbs), but they will have Ac’cent! Are we stuck in the same presentability politics that affect Asians Americans since forever? Yeah, but we can at least make it taste better.

Viv: I’m into it. I’d like to see the day when the TikTok dinner party hoes start passing out Glossier x MSG Balm Dotcoms in their goodie bags. What else is on your list?

Jacky: Dinner at your local mom and pop Chinese restaurant. Is anyone else tired of trendy millennial asian restaurants with good branding? Recently I visited a very hype-y restaurant in LA (details obscured because I’m not trying to tear people down).

Viv: Was it Pearl River Deli? Majordomo??

Jacky: My lips are sealed but you know the type…flash photography of the hands and food on Instagram, a website that’s chaotic in a corporate way. But, the food wasn’t good. Quickly, I realized I had paid $25 dollars for a mediocre lunch.

Instead I would recommend going to an un-hip Chinese restaurant and going all-out. A pu pu platter, chicken lo mien, beer if they have it. I like that Chinese-American food is finally getting its time in the sun, but why not do an actual throwback and enjoy some sesame chicken? It’ll probably taste better anyway. Bonus points if there is no social media and the decor is either “oriental escapism” or practically nonexistent.

Viv: What other trendy millennial asian things do we hate?

Rosa: Fucking fly by jing is so overdone.

Viv: Oop! Someone had to say it.

Elissa: The older you are the less likely you are to be into the millennial yassification of things.

Viv: Especially the parents.

Elissa: Yeah. Parents do not want to pay more for better branding and sourcing for what isn't broke and thus doesn't need to be fixed. They don't want fancy soy sauce or upgraded sesame oil. They don't want any of your chic and newly elevated perishable goods. EXCEPT when it comes to tinned fish. My dad will eat that shit up. I buy them every year as stocking stuffers.

Viv: Food is a very safe gift for Asian dads. I ordered fermented black beans, plum powder, and the fruit sampler from Yun Hai and plan to distribute it into little Ziplocs for the family.

Isabelle: Also from Yun Hai—the Tatung Rice Cooker is something I’d gift for family members. I grew up with this in my kitchen and learned how to use it well before I was old enough to cook. It does wayyy more than make rice! My holy grail kitchen appliance.

Andrew: Consumables are always the move for an Asian elder because you know it's going to be used. I've gifted my dad nice clothes and then the next time I see him he'll be wearing my old jeans from high school because "they're fine." But if I get him some caramel covered popcorn, I know it's getting crushed within days.

Viv: What else is a tried and true gift for the older generation? Down puffer jackets and comfortable house slippers are usually well-received.

Andrew: I was raised to never show up empty handed when visiting someone's home. Oranges in a red plastic shopping bag were de rigeur, or a box of Ferrero Rocher candies. For footwear: I really dig Merrell's 1TRL program and have my eye on these quilted mules that I would definitely make bodega runs or take the dog for a walk in. Decidedly urban tasks for an outdoorsy footwear style, but I am who I am.

Viv: Classic. Growing up nibbling on Ferreros during the holidays is the reason why I love hazelnut flavored everything now. You’ve also influenced me because how come I can’t stop thinking about the pink version of the Merrells??

Isabelle: If you live in NYC, Kamwo Herbs has 八珍湯 Ba Zhen Tang (Herbal Soup base). Just ask for it in store and they sell it by the pack that they portion prepare for you in store. Each costs around $7 and I usually buy 2-4 packs at a time. For those in other states, they have a substitute you can order online: Meridian Immunity Boost Soup Base.

Viv: Omg yes can we talk about the Traditional Chinese Medicine adjacent gift ideas?? I remember Chris wrote a great piece on the history of ear seeds this year.

Isabelle: The soup base is perfect for the cold months and promotes circulation and immunity. Just slow cook with chicken or pork ribs. No picky eaters allowed here!! Tip: I add dried goji berries for sweetness (which Kamwo also sells). Also, Té Company Excellent Formosa Tea Sachets are perfect for gifting anyone. You can break the sets up, so it’s the perfect way to share specialty Taiwanese teas. My favorite is the Jade Rouge Tea.

Viv: We are on the same wavelength because I just tried these Goji Berry Collagen Gummies from a YINA, a Bay Area TCM skincare brand. Tart, sweet, and jiggly. They also make a Ginseng Lip Treatment for pre-order that feels and smells SO luxurious in an herbal way. Cue: “Hi Vogue, my name is Michelle Yeoh and this is what’s in my bag.” I do indeed have a discount code…VIV15 if you wanna use it.

Rosa: Have you tried the Laneige Gummy Bear Lip Balm? It’s so good. Gummy bear is the best flavor. For skincare, I also recommend d’alba spray. Actual Korean skincare worn by Korean people present day. Good for dewy touchups through the day.

Viv: Guys. What are we doing this year for the *trinket* Asians? You know who I’m talking about.

Abi: For the trinket friend who loves to host, anything from my favorite Filipino artist and friend Sacha Raps! I have so many incredible pieces from her, including a stained glass parol that I hang up during the Christmas season and block printed taper candles. These hand-painted asian zodiac charms are perfect for a bestie who likes to get people together for wine nights. They come in a mystery set of 5 to attach to the stems of glasses. If they are a fan of opening blind boxes, they’ll be delighted to see which of the 12 zodiac animals they got.

Rosa: A daily tear-off calendar. Any asian grocery store worth its salt will have one.

Viv: Oh that’s a good one. For kitchen trinket stuff I’ve fallen prey to the charms of the dango chopstick rest from Mogutable and this mini taiwanese ceramic red stool.

Christine: Jade jewelry from Year 901, fun accessories from Leeann Huang, custom toilet seat from Bailey Hikawa, ceramics from my studiomate Little Match Studio, teeny tiny pet portraits from Nagisa Kamae, the girls at Maaari Co do everything right, pkkceramics, auhandmade.

Viv: I love it Christine. I have to say, it feels like we are in a golden age of Asian American ceramicists.

Chris: I'm a fan of giving friends ceramics that fit whatever their vibe is because the best gifts should feel a little studied, a little special. We usually get ours from Akil's Pots in Long Beach, CA (we used to buy in bulk and raid his discards/overflow, like a bunch of trash-digging raccoons) or tea cups from Kettl in Greenpoint (paired with a bag of loose leaf Houjicha, which feels nice and mellow; not too turbo). Home-y and useful :)

Viv: Totally. Trinkets often get conflated with clutter, but a fanciful object can also be extremely practical.

Baron: I know a guy whose go-to gift is a handmade, wooden shoehorn. He reasoned that everyone uses one if it’s there, yet no one has one. If it saves the recipient even six seconds of bending over, that compounds into time well saved—which is a kind thing to do for yourself.

I’m not a skilled woodsmith, so I can’t carve diddily, but I like the reasoning of the shoehorn as a gift—highly practical, yet highly neglected when furnishing your life with objects. If it’s there, you’ll use it, but it’ll never be the first thing the sharpie-wielding Costco lady checks on your receipt at the exit. It is a gift that gives the recipient the chance to give themselves the gift of time.

Viv: Shoehorns definitely fall under the category of objects that are useful but not particularly exciting to buy for yourself. Since I turned 30, my back is grateful for the complimentary shoehorn that came with my Freda Salvador loafers. So this is your friend’s go-to gift, but do you have a go-to gift?

Baron: Yes. My go-to gift is this: A full-on tracksuit. Matching top and bottom. Here’s why: It is the gift of identity. Let me explain.

Viv: I’m paying attention.

Baron: I am half-Korean and going by my upbringing, Koreans either wear no shoes inside or we have indoor shoes. Walk into most any Asian dwelling and the choreography is the same: Past the front door, shoes shuffle off, then go in for the greetings and the hugs. I have learned over the span of twenty-eight years that this subconscious and simple transition from outdoor to indoor shoes becomes an act of identity shift. The day is done, the public version of yourself is done. You are yourself again. Isn’t that the worthy goal of anyone? To become yourself? But we’ve all been asking since puberty, “what is me?”

The expanding social situations we participate in with time force us to be different selves—the self we are at a job, when speaking with our parents, when eating pancakes with friends, or who we are naked with a lover.

So who then, is the true, authentic self?

One might say all those separate selves make up the one, authentic self. I tell that to myself, but even that is hard to fully feel as true. I’ll walk into a room full of strangers I don’t like and I turn into a schmuck I don’t even recognize within five minutes, just to fit in. The more different my separate selves are, the greater my identity crisis grows. But at least I have my tracksuit. At least by the end of the day, I come home and take off my shoes and put on my indoor shoes, and I slip into my “home uniform,” a navy Adidas tracksuit I only wear inside. The door is closed and all those other selves are on the other side of that door, and in my uniform, I wear myself again. I come home to me.

A tracksuit is not usually worn in public—unless you are brave—and yet they are not as casual as pajamas. It’s a home fit. I’ve given dozens of tracksuits as gifts to sufficiently confused recipients over the years. From what I have heard, they are always worn. They are too comfortable not to be worn, and yet they would never get one for themselves, for they do not want to look like a Soprano. Gift someone a tracksuit.

You are not just gifting a home-fit, it is a gift that gives the recipient the chance to give themselves the gift of being themselves—whoever the hell that is.

Viv: I love the depth to your reasoning. Very cinematic storytelling. And I can’t help but think, it would be very funny if everyone you gifted a tracksuit to planned a surprise birthday party for you and all showed up in said tracksuit.

Speaking of films…I wanna know Elissa’s pick for cinephiles.

Elissa: Depending on whether they’re a minimalist or maximalist, I would get my friends the Hong Sang-soo or Greg Araki box set.

Viv: Should we end things on a luxe note?

Isabelle: To me, Norlha Atelier’s Classic Yak Khullu Scarf defines true luxury and intentional purchasing. I really admire the brand ethos and intentions. You can feel the level of care and thoughtfulness though any of the items they offer. Kim (mother) & Dechen Yeshi (daughter who is half Tibetan) are two founders that I admire in how they uplift communities and the artisans that they work with. The scarves and clothing are unmatched in quality and feel.

Arabelle: My partner and I have matching signet rings from the softgoodstudio…our Chinese names as stamps by Asian jeweler Emilie Jehng. You can also get a lil’ lactaid necklace or best friend mooncake rings—very adorable.

Ultimately you can go totally bespoke with Emilie and should. I’ve seen the most incredible custom projects from her. My ring is mirrored so I can use it as a stamp for signing my books :)

Viv: If I won the lottery I would commission a ring for each finger by Emilie. Here are some of my bookmarked pieces from Asian jewelers: nuren earrings, jade ear cuff, egg tart necklace (says sold out but taking custom orders), cut mango pendant.

Elissa: My mother is not into practical gifts; she prefers presents that are nice-to-haves. The problem is sometimes she needs those boring functional items. Like right now she keeps complaining about her broken kitchen soap dispenser but is too cheap to get a new one. Since I’m her daughter and also Asian I similarly can’t justify spending what feels like a small waste of money.

The only solution (excuse) is to buy fancy soap so she can reuse the bottle. I'm going with the Loewe Tomato Leaves or Flamingo Estate Sage.

Viv: I’m just like your mom. My wishlist is full of jewelry and clothes, but I’ve been making do with a broken can opener for the past 2 years.

Thanks for reading!

I would love to hear about your culturally-specific gifting ideas/dilemmas/norms…however you define that for yourself!

If you loved this newsletter and want more writing like this, consider supporting The Molehill as a paid subscriber or gifting it to someone special :-)

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xoxo

viv

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good morning! if you clicked on this email, you’re here for the gift ideas so i’m gonna keep this brief:

• this is a gift guide where every item i suggest is something i own

• i use some affiliate links and will earn a small commission if you use it to purchase

• below the fold, i share the 5 items on my wishlist this year

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flore flore baby tee: everyone wants something a little different in their “perfect tee” and this is the highest-quality one i own that ticks my boxes (100% cotton, thick crewneck rib collar, short sleeves that make a diagonal line across the upper arm). it’s retained its saturated red color through machine washes and hang drys.

keen jaspers: whenever someone asks me about casual walking sneaker recs that aren’t sambas, i suggest these. mine were the limited “year of the dragon” colorway, but i am partial to these rose birch ones that came out this year. keens have been a bay area granola shoe for decades. the other day i was at the kaiser pharmacy and counted 3 elders wearing sneaker, clog, or sandal style keens. these are also my default travel shoe.

the most delicious umeshu i’ve ever tried: this is mostly a local gift idea for bay area readers who have access to true sake in sf (bc shipping can be pricey). my friends served it at a dinner party and i found it SO tasty….tart and smooth and had me reaching for uncharacteristic levels of re-pours. i would choose this plum sake over wine any day. i am planning to get a bottle or two for holiday meals. this plus hot rice and a bowl of clams steamed in scallion, ginger, garlic, pepper and tsingtao beer???? yummmm

mildew magazine subscription: mildew is the secondhand fashion magazine and it’s honestly a wonder that such a thing exists. i love receiving my print copies and taking the time to read the stories over breakfast. also, i have a mini interview feature in the latest issue.

d.grayi pandan perfume: put me onto this scent from d.grayi, one of the most exciting niche asian fragrance houses of our time. it’s a light gourmand that smells like toasted pandan waffle. they offer a wide range of vial sizes, starting at 1.5mL for $7. it’s one of their bestsellers for a reason.

bianchetto tabi flats: ***tabis are a big splurge so take your time to think about it*** the first time i got tabis they were the all-white heeled ballerina ones and i resold them because they just felt too sweetsy when i tried to style them. they went to someone who wore them for her wedding which makes me thrilled. it took me a while but i began to fall back in love with the idea of tabis again…i just had to find the right style that was me. i love the imperfectness of the bianchetto cracked paint ones, and they are so comfortable to walk in.

i got these as a present to myself to celebrate a freelancing milestone this year.

le bon shoppe cobalt blue socks: ever since dueple socks (iykyk) went bankrupt or whatever caused their mysterious shutdown…i’ve switched to le bon shoppe as my go-to sock brand. right now my fave color in my sock drawer is blue.

feather razor: what i use to cut my bangs. it does take a little bit of practice, but the difference in result between this vs. scissors is night and day. you get a petal-like, carved effect. no choppy broomstick chunks.

brightland olive oil (link gets you 10% off): the lucid lemon flavor is my default olive oil for salads…it just makes the produce so bright and citrusy. the pizza oil is jalapeño infused and i recommend drizzling this in a spiral on top of store-bought hummus—suddenly, it tastes restaurant quality. i use their balsamic vinegar for parmesan roasted brussel sprouts, the parasol vinegar for dressings…you can’t go wrong with these. brightland is also south asian owned, which i feel gets missed in the marketing.

hairstory new wash and hair balm: back when i had a bob i was very lucky to get complimentary cuts from jayne matthews as a hair model. she used new wash on me our first appointment and i could really feel the difference later that week in my hair texture. it makes my hair more piece-y and preserves whatever residual curl pattern i’ve achieved with a perm. for styling, i use hair balm on my bangs and my ends. before and after:

CLED pea ear cuff: an excellent entry cuff for those who want to try out ear cuffs. it’s comfortable and unfussy, looks great stacked with other cuffs. i style them in-depth in a newsletter here.

CLED mary jane charm: if you love mary janes like me, this is a sweet charm to clip onto a necklace or keychain.

nicole saldaña fabiana mary janes (part of ssense sale): speaking of mjs…i literally have a tattoo of these shoes on my arm! i got a pair secondhand years ago and they really are so classic with the tiny little ribbon.

bonnie clyde baby sunglasses: by favorite sunglasses are vintage pradas but alas, they are so precious i’m overprotective of them and don’t wear them out THAT much. but i think life is also meant to be lived and these sunnies are the ones i’m usually wearing—great 90s/00s simple shape, lightweight, looks good with any outfit.

emma rothkopf pointelle long sleeve tee: it’s thicker than cou cou’s pointelles and sooooo well-made. feels amazing on the skin. each sleeve has a row of 7 buttons as well, a detail you rarely see on “basics” these days. big fan of emma rothkopf. wearing this rn as i type.

my everyday signature scent: on sale for $140. yes, it’s liis…i love the northern californian spirit of the fragrance house. this is my everyday scent bc it’s subtle, pleasant and settles well on knitwear (one of the base notes is cashmere which explains that warm knit smell). i get a lot of the pear top note, and then to me it becomes a tart, airy candied fruit. i love it.

once upon a dream bunny journal (I also like the deer): just a super cute journal.

freda salvador elba loafers (25% off): these are always mentioned in substack loafer recs, and they are a very solid option for the price point and quality.

araks gita bra: i got this as a gift two christmases ago, and it’s my nicest bra by far. araks is the most luxurious lingerie imo—i have a saved search on secondhand sites for their slip dresses. finding a pure silk bra with construction (not a bralette) is reallyyyyy hard, there’s not that many brands making them. during the summer I tucked a sheer scarf into the balconette structure and made it a “top” lol.

Below the fold, five special things on my personal wishlist…

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And then there’s the lol moment of reading the “gifts for xyz person in your life” that tries so hard to be hyperniche but it’s all the same bathrobes and drunk elephant drops and stanley cups for [insert maternal-coded figure here]. If you don’t have a diptyque type mom then these gift guides just feel very useless and kind of alienating even??

Anyways. I present to you a gift guide for friends. It’s a riff on the “what to get him based on how long you’ve dating” genre of article. Because gifts communicate things. Feelings. Intentions. I think platonic relationships are just as complex and layered, so let’s break down what Types of Friends this guide will cover:

I also think most gift guides are wildly unrealistic for most budgets, considering the number of people on a typical gift list. Most of my picks are under $25.

Hair accessories and hand lotion is safe here cause you don’t know them that well yet. If we’re being honest, these are things they can regift to their other "coffee twice and dinner once” friend if it’s not their vibe. Caterpillar imagery foreshadows a potentially new friendship.

If you both added each other to CF, it’s a sign you want to show more of your authentic self to this person. Some *fancy* little things reflect that you are serious about this friendship.

If they’ve picked you up from your Kaiser appointment, they’re a REAL ONE. A bona fide sweetie and lover. You guys have an established comfort with each other and can talk about your GI problems and mental illnesses openly.

Congratulations, you found your ride or die. These things make their lives more comfortable and beautiful. Fingerless gloves so they can stay cozy while you text each other innermost thoughts that can never be shared publicly.

Things have changed but you want to honor what you once were to each other. Gourmet snacks and a neutral Baggu strike the a balance of “thinking of you from…afar.”

Things just aren’t the same anymore. Not necessarily a friendship breakup, but you no longer feel like you can be your full self around this person. Or maybe they turned into a raging narcissist but they’re still in your life. A bottle of translucent jelly nail polish to project your internal sense of *clarity* and (1) clip from this collection of Lepidoptera order insects. The idea is you buy the pack, give them one and split the other two as nicety gifts for cousins and such. JUST TELLING IT LIKE IT IS!

As much as I embrace shopping secondhand for myself, there’s a slight pause I take towards gifting secondhand/used items to others. Over the years I’ve started gifting more secondhand items to close family. But it feels different if it’s someone I don’t have a close relationship to.

Most of us have been socialized since childhood to view shiny new toys as the pinnacle of a gift. When you’re 10 it’s a dollhouse or Melissa & Doug wooden puzzle set, wrapped in clear thin plastic film. I used to relish the first puncture of the plastic film. I would administer the tiny jab with the mail opener and gleefully celebrate my doll’s first breath of air. She was alive now. As you get older the shiny new toy never dies, it just evolves.

Why is there stigma around gifting secondhand? I know the reasons and I’ve read the statistics, capitalism relies on us buying new things, yada yada. I’m more curious about the emotional experience of secondhand gifting and receiving. Some thoughts I’ve arrived at:

• I’ve had positive and negative experiences with used stuff. I can see how someone with a really negative experience (ex: getting bedbugs from a thrifted sweater) would be turned off from it altogether. But the more I developed secondhand savvy, I was able to lower the risk of these negative experiences. I feel knowledgable and confident enough to buy a good used thing.

• 50% of the gift experience is the presentation. The wrapping, the bow, the card. I’ve learned from friends who own small secondhand/vintage businesses that a LOT of work is put into marketing the product. You’re taking something with a past and trying to give it a modern context of desirability—invent a new story. I think that requires a lot of creativity! And a good secondhand gift is a reflection of that creativity. Compare that to brands with big budgets who can dress up a mediocre (or even bad) product with market-tested copy, photography and packaging.

• If the success of a gift is measured by the amount of thought, there’s actually so much care in finding a beautiful secondhand gift for someone.

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My relationship with jewelry has shifted in the past 1-2 years. I never knew very much about the jewelry industry. I thought everything “real” was exorbitantly priced/out of my budget, and what seemed accessible were the DTC darlings selling gold vermeil at a steep markup. There is no judgement for buying from DTC brands, but my perspective has changed—I see them more as supply chain businesses that happen to sell jewelry.

It seems the only widespread education about jewelry valuation is attached to the engagement/wedding ring industry (side eye @ De Beers and its legacy). After reading some history books on jewelry and doing an amateur wholesale bead buy in the LA Jewelry District, I now understand the value of knowing the gem/metal valuation basics.

This is the jewelry I dream about: small rare talismans that are intensely personal and one-of-a-kind. Things that can’t be mass-produced. Craft and technique that’s been handed down person-to-person. Silversmith to silversmith. Welder to welder.

Here are four curated and highly-specific ideas for secondhand jewelry gifts. These are all beautiful old things that would make a stunning gift wrapped in a little velvet box and a black ribbon.

I’ve linked options for where to source these online.

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